Untitled Part 20

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Jorges Pov.

When I woke up I instantly noticed the smell of disinfection agent and sounds of a heart monitor. Hospital, great. My mom enters the room just minutes later. Tears roll down her cheek. "My poor baby, what have they done to you." She pulled me into a tight embrace. She's Hispanic and likes to be overdramatic. I still hugged her back. "Mamá, Estoy bien." "Mi pobre bebé. And here we all thought you were getting better. I'm sorry." Her voice was too loud next to my ear, the whole situation in general just made me uncomfortable. "Please, I'm fine." Her hands captured my face: "What would I have done without my favorite son?" I turned away from her touch: "you know you have another son." "and you know you're my favorite child."

It wasn't the first time I was in the hospital for drinking but it was the first time I regret being in here. I have done so well having my life under control. My suicidal thoughts we're almost gone, I have taken my meds every single day and just occasionally skipped lunch. Finally having my life back on track for one night running everything. It was stupid and i should have declined the alcohol but can't change the past, right? "Mum do I have to stay?" "The doctors said that it would be alright for you to leave but no more alcohol" I nodded: "I don't want this to repeat either." She stood up from the bed: "I'm going to search for a nurse to release you. Benji will keep you company."

"He's here?" She opened the door. Benji, who already waited outside trips into the room. "Oh dear, look your brother waited the whole day in the hospital for you", with that she slipped through the door in the hallway and closed it after her. My boyfriend took a seat next to me on the bed, he took my hand in his and squeezed it lightly: "Jeyjey, I was so worried about you. I'm so sorry, it's my fault and gosh I was so scared." Before he could continue his stumbling I cut him off with a kiss. It was slow and expressive. They say looks say more than words, I guess kisses too. The kiss said everything is alright, I missed you.
"Don't you think it's weird that my mother just called you my brother?", I broke the silence. Benji laughed softly: "It's better than her referring to me as your daddy, I think." "Eww your kinky." He wore that smug smile: "care to find out?" "Very.", I whispered before uniting our lips again. It was rare to spend time with Benji alone. Even at home our siblings always stick with us. Although spending time with him alone is my favorite thing in the world.

"But seriously Jorge, you frightened me. You never told me about your illness." I sat up straight: "It's not like I'm dying or anything. Only depression." He interlocked our fingers. "No it's not just depression. You also have bulimia and you have to take medication. We are in a relationship and normally you tell your partner everything, especially something extrem like this." "Look it's true that I had bulimia but I had it when I was 13. I don't throw up anymore, on purpose I mean. Also, I do eat. I promise I wanted to tell you but I'm worried you will see me differently now. This mental illness doesn't defined me and I don't want you to judge me because of it."

His eyes softened: "Of course I would see you different. Jorge, you are a remarkable person and now I see how hard you have to fight everyday it only makes you more beautiful. I'm so in love with you. My entire life is about you. When I was waiting for you to wake up I questioned myself what I did wrong, that you wouldn't trust me. For me it's important to know how you feel and how I can make you feel even better. I don't want you to feel bad but if there is anything please tell me in the future."
I felt tears well up in my eyes: "And I'm so in love with you, really. You are all that makes me feel better." "I love you so much babe."

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