Chapter 99

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I hate depending on others because I feel like such a burden...

While I was in the hospital, I was forced to talk to a psychiatrist, which was annoying. He said I shouldn't stay in my house, so DJ insisted I stay with them.

When I went to the house to get clothes, I ended up taking my mattresses, covers & pillows in the backyard to burn them. As I was watching my stuff burn, I could see everything happening from that day in the flames. My eyes started to water, but I didn't cry.

I made sure the fire was completely out before going back inside. DJ told me to bring Bailey, so I got her and my stuff and we went to his house.


One week later...

I've been staying with Monique & DJ for a week and I feel slack. They've done nothing for themselves the whole time I've been here and I feel really bad, so today I'm leaving the house so they can be alone.

I put on black jeans, a sleeveless black crop top, black boots, dark lipstick and I braided my hair to the side. I grabbed my Ray-Bans & keys then went downstairs.

"Where are you going?" DJ asked.

"Gun range."

"You want us to come with you?" Monique asked.

"Nah. Y'all stay here and enjoy your time together," I said.

I left their house and went to the gun range. I was gonna use this time to get out any hostility.


Eight hours later...

When I got back to the house, it was 8:30. I wasn't at the gun range the whole time though. I went to the beach for a while, to the studio, to see Omar and then I just drove around for a while.

I decided to make dinner for DJ & Monique because they're sleeping and I know they haven't eaten yet.

After about thirty minutes, they came in the kitchen while I was cooking and looked at me funny.

"Bri, what are you doing?" DJ asked.

"Making y'all dinner."

"Why?" Monique asked.

"Because y'all have done a lot for me this week, so I wanted to do something for y'all," I said, "I made something simple because I'm kinda tired."

I made them steak, with baked potatoes and vegetables. I even made an apple pie and bought ice cream, but they don't know that.

"Girl please. This is not simple," Monique said.

I set the table for them so they could start eating, then went back in the kitchen.

"You're not gonna join us?" DJ asked.

"No, this is just for y'all. I know y'all haven't had much time to yourselves because of me, so I want y'all to be alone," I said, "I'm gonna wash the dishes, then go to bed."

"Bri, you don't have to do that," Monique said, "I'll wash them."

"No. I made the mess, so I'm gonna clean it up."

She walked up to me and put her hands on my shoulders. "Briana Smalls, go get some rest. I got it."

She smiled and hugged me before I went upstairs. While I lied on the bed, listening to music, I got a call from Deshawn.

me: hey d. what's up?
d: not much. how are you?
me: pretty good. just tryna move on with life.
d: glad to hear that. where are you staying?
me: with Mo & DeAndre.
d: good! have you talked to Blake recently?
me: yeah. he calls & texts me everyday and he comes by to see me.
d: [laughs] when are you gonna take my dude back? he loves you girl.
me: [laughs] I'm working on it. I just wanted to focus on myself for a while.
d: that's understandable, but I gotta go. I just called to see how you were doing.
me: well thank you.
d: call me if you need anything.
me: okay. bye.
d: bye.

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