Being Butch Green || ✓

Chapter 16 - The Ultimate Game of Retrieve the File

"Owww," I moaned.

I lay like a tangled starfish on the ground, covered in dust. Groaning a little more, I untangled my mangled and bruised limbs and lifted myself up off the ground. I clutched my ribs as an ache overcame me and stumbled over to Henry, patting him on the shoulder.

"Good thinking man," I said, wincing as I tried to release the ache. "Now how the fuck are we gonna get that file back?"

He blankly glanced at me and stared back at the fence. We curled our fingers over the lip of the wood panelling and peeked up over it.

Much to my disappointment, my newly found trousers were being strung up on a pole and jabbed into the topmost region of the jumping castle as the girls huddled around what I suspected was the file.

"We have to get it back," I whispered, turning to Henry as we both jumped down from the fence.

He glanced at my knees. "Nice knickers."

I followed his gaze and was greeted by Iron Man's mask and lighted palm. "Hmmpf," I mused. "I forgot I was wearing those."

We nodded alternately at Iron Man, content with the style and design of my underwear, and put our attention back on retrieving the file – and my pants.

"Hey!" I yelled over the fence. "Hey! Little girl!"

Lilly strutted up to me and stuck her hands firmly on her hips. "What?"

"Do you mind giving me that?"

"Yes."

"Well...can I have it?"

She didn't budge.

"Any time now would be nice," Henry said, popping over the fence.

"You're one big fugging mess, aren't ya?" she said to him. "And no, you can't have your fugging paper back."

Her piercing eyes shot themselves between us as she stamped her foot and waltzed back over to friends.

I popped back down off the fence. "Well, that went well," I mused, turning to Henry as he hurriedly wiped away a lone tear.

"What are we gonna do?" Henry asked, mustering up all his damaged self-esteem.

"Get it back."

"How?"

"By force," I glared at the pack of Disney princesses and stuck my bare leg up in the air. "A leg up would be handy."

"Oh, yes. I suppose," Henry said, stumbling to hoist me up over the fence.

The panes of thin wood scraped against my crotch as I awkwardly swung myself over the fence. I managed to gently place myself on both feet this time, and grinning, sprinted for the group. Upon seeing my hurried and pantless advance towards them, they screamed and departed every which way with the file.

"Fuck!" I muttered, chasing after one.

We ran around in circles as parents stared wide-eyed at us. The hoard of demonised princesses tried to gage my attention from various vantage points in the yard, waving the sheets through the air as they did so.

"Girls!" the birthday princess called out. I gazed up. She stood proudly atop a treehouse, waving my pirate trousers over the railing. I watched as they all rushed methodically towards the tree.

"Not this time, princess!" I sprang into action, swatting at one of them and successfully missing as she squirmed out of my grip. Where Henry and Jerry were at this point in time disappointed me. I needed backup. Let's just say the hippie bikie has an irrational fear of tiny children and is meditating behind the fence for now.