Good Luck Trying

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Shawn stayed at the fountain, watching lovers, families, friends and loners walk past.

He had no idea. After his visit to the church he went back to Sam's but he was at the hospital with Ayla. He called Krystal but she was with Ayla. He finally resorted to Brian.

Brian kept him at his home for a month, he felt alone, isolated and in a state of blackness. No feelings except for the hurt he was feeling in his heart.

He was clueless on what he had done and the worst was yet to come.

Soon, he got up wiping his jeans down. He had to know what else had happened to the girl he loves. He wanted to feel heartbreak and sadness like she did.

He saw it flicker in her eyes. He saw just how broken she was under her facade.

After ten minutes he was at La Luna Oscura, people were dancing, singing and drinks were flowing.

"You" a voice approaches Shawn.

Shawn ignores it, no one here knows him but Ayla.

"Shawn? Right?" Jacob calls again. This time Shawn freezes, turning to face the blonde.

"Yes?" He asks.

"You're here for Ayla" Jacob realises. "Do I know you?" Shawn asks.

"She talks when she's drunk. Her description of you was so accurate that it's scary" Jacob says not really sure what to say next but he didn't lie. Ayla told Jacob everything, everything from the day she met Shawn to the night of the wedding and more.

"Is She here?"

"Why? Gonna break her heart again?" Jacob scoffs. Shawn sighs shaking his head.

"Please" his eyes softened. Jacob looks away, towards a locked door at the back of the bar then he looks back at Shawn.

"I don't even know what you could say to fix her broken heart but good luck trying" Jacob pushes a set of keys towards Shawn's chest. "Thanks" Shawn nods softly.

He takes the keys, slipping through the crowd and towards the door. He unlocks it getting to the other side. Locking the door, he turns towards the set of stairs and he strides up where he's met with an oak door.

With a shaky hand he knocks twice and steps back, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Jacob, I told you- oh" Ayla cuts herself off when her eyes meet Shawn.

She couldn't even deny he looked the same from a year ago, still so humble looking, innocent and angel like.

"I want to hear the rest" Shawn gulps.

Ayla doesn't respond for a few seconds, contemplating even letting him in.

She then moves to the side and turns around. "Come in" She mumbles walking away, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie. Shawn lets go of a shaky breath. Following her through the small home.

His eyes travelled around the room; shoes everywhere, messy coffee table, fresh red roses on the counter and an abundance of fruit set up.

She leads him out to the small balcony where there was a small outdoor sofa with piles of blankets, a string of fairy lights lining the fence and small plants dotted around. Shawn sits down, he was good at keeping his distance despite the fact all he wanted was to hug her.

Shawn looks over at her, she had changed into a pair of cotton shorts and a white hoodie, her face bare and slightly splotchy, her skin breaking out. The moonlight seemed to only be shining for her.

Ayla clears her throat, bringing her knees up to her chin.

"I stayed with him, the doctor told me I could re-jog his memory" she scoffs pathetically. "So I tried. I told him our story through pictures and taking him everywhere we've ever been. I told him I loved him everyday without getting a response back... he didn't remember any of it" her sullen eyes stay stuck to the sky.

"Then erm i-I found out I was- was pregnant. We started trying the night we got married" a painful sob escapes her lips. "I was going to have a baby" she whispers.

Shawn's heart ached. He couldn't help but cry right now.

"I told him out of joy and he- he-" Ayla pauses to look at Shawn. Both their eyes meeting.

"He looked me in the eyes and told me he couldn't have a baby with a stranger"

Shawn's lips part in shock. "You didn't keep the baby?" He asks quietly.

Ayla shakes her head no. Shawn nods, his eyes slightly wide.

"Don't look at me like that" she scoffs.

"Like what?" He's quick to say. She looks away feeling a pang in her heart.

"It was my choice too. I-i got an abortion, I did" she says out loud and it hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Ayla, I'm not judging" Shawn says softly. "Good. You have no right to judge me... I couldn't have that baby and it's non of your business anyway" she felt the need to justify herself. "It's my body, my choice" she says strongly.

"It is" Shawn agrees wholeheartedly.

"He filed for an annulment. So it's like we never got married... after that he moved to England with his cousins and left me. He didn't even say goodbye to me, just left a letter, a stupid fucking letter that had absolute no emotion in it. He pitied me" she scoffs. "He left and so did I. I came here and it's lonely but it's so much better that staying there" she admits, her head turning back to Shawn.

Bravely, he moves closer. Their legs almost touching.

His hand slowly lays over hers and she doesn't move. "If you had just loved me as a friend then you could've been there for me Shawn, I needed you despite the fact I hated you the most for laying your hands on him" she admits with a heavy heart.

"Ayla, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am" Shawn goes down on his knees facing her. The broken girl looks down at him with a morbid expression.

"No you're not Shawn... I sit out here talking to the fucking moon, drunk as can be and as high as I can get. I'll never be okay now" she sobs out.

"I-I am sorry Ayla" a knot forms in his throat. "I know it took me so long and I'm so fucking sorry for everything you went through" he was on his knees, crying like a mad man as he begged for forgiveness.

"You can't change any of it" she shakes her head.

"But-but I can show you how sorry I am, I'll do anything you want" his hands grab hers, he bows his head towards their joined hands.

Ayla closes her eyes and leans forward, her forehead pressing against his untamed curls.

"I can't forget what you did" she whispers. "Leave, pease" she cries.

"Ayla-"

"Please Shawn. Leave me alone"

"Ayla, please. Let me in. Lay all your anger on me, I deserve it" Shawn's large hands encapsulate her face softly. "Leave" she whispers softly, nudging his hands away.

_
I said there would be sensitive topics in this book but at as a reminder I am here to say THAT THESE ARE REAL LIFE THINGS HAPPENING (drug use, abortion, depression, divorce...) DO NOT JOKE ABOUT IT AND
BE RESPECTFUL AND KIND.
Thank you

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