What I Wanted to Wear for Halloween

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What I Wanted to Wear for Halloween

…is not what you wanted me to wear for Halloween.

I wanted to be one of those girls in the comic books,

spinning around in high-heeled boots, high-strung ponytails, and miniskirts.

You convinced me to be Mulan.

It was the 90’s, after all.

And she was pretty cool. I guess.

I loved it more when I realized she had a sword. I planned to cut my hair with it.

But when I asked for her sword, you handed me a fan, told me to have fun with my friends.

My best friend wore a real kimono that year – all thick and purple and bright –

her father brought it back from Japan.

We were both Mulan. I guess.

But she loved her fan and silk and uppy hair up-do.

Mine had already taken a tumble for the worse.

And that is exactly what I see, many years later, as I stare in the mirror – finally in my boots.

I keep them on when I sit at the keyboard and type in her name


The truth comes after H-U-A

After twelve years of fighting, and dying, and winning, and fighting by her side,

China didn’t even know she was a woman.

They couldn’t have cared less at all.

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