Don't Touch Me

The Mirror

*Alex's pov*

Bitzz

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BiTzZ
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BITZZ

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOISE

I looked over in the general direction of the noise.
Oh it's just an alarm clock.
I hit the snooze and fell gently back onto my bed.
Ah slee- Oh shit
I shot out of bed faster than piss out of a horse, and ran to my closet.
First day of school, a few care free days without being called a freak. Though it's only a matter of time before people figure out my..... 'disability '
I grabbed my soft black sweatshirt, with Gaara on the front. Black and red checkered pants, a MCR bennie and styled my natural fluffy gray hair.
Sometimes it's a curse to have natural grey hair, but I do love anime and it makes me look Kakashi, especially with the black scarf the new school will let me wear. They are surprisingly lenient on what clothes they allow, just no nips, no dicks, no vaginas, and no assholes and we are good. Like it is literally what the principle said to me. Nice guy.... weird but nice.

Well at least the sweatshirt hides all of my goddamn fat.

I looked in the mirror and all I could see was a..... freak.
   They're right I am just a fat, short, virgin, freak.
I took my phone off my nightstand and turned on my cutting playlist. I have no fear that my parents might come through the door because they don't care about me, and on top of that they are never home. My moms cheating on my dad and he likes to go to strip clubs, get shit-faced, come home and beat me. Although it has been a while since he last came home. I kind of miss him, well in a abusive relationship way.
   I walk into the bathroom positioning my arm over the sink.
I might as well make it easy to clean up, I don't need to have more stress when I'm trying to release it.
If u are sensitive to this stuff skip it ok I'll let you know when it's over.

 

  Slowly dragging the blade across my skin carving lines across the previous cuts and carvings of words.  It's almost like I'm scratching out the words carved there by my father, erasing every word he ever sliced into me. One more year until I'm free of this hellhole. One year until highschool is over, one year until names stop, one year until I can be alone forever.
Picking up the bloodied blade, and throwing it into the trash, I start to clean or the sink. Watching the blood slowly sink down the drain was quiet pleasing. I grabbed the bandages from the medicine cabinet, and slowly started to wrap them around my cuts.
*Its over guys. The selfharm part is over for now*
  

   I look in the mirror one last time and decide a little eye liner won't hurt since my unnatural for a male curvy hips were hidden, not that anyone would touch me.
I take the eyeliner wand and slowly drag it across my eyelid trying to get an even thin line, not to obvious but enough to be there. After that's finished, I grab a coffee cup out of the kitchen, pour coffee, and head out, not bothering to add anything to it. I like it better black anyway.
*time skip brought to u by Gaara*
   I walk into school and I look around the crowded sky blue hallway in wonder.This is so much better than my old school! I walked around the new school silently weaving thorugh all the bodys trying not to touch anyone. I slowly walked around trying to take in as much as possible in as little time as possible. To everyone else I probably looked completely emotionless, setting as how I've gotten wonderful at hiding my emotions from bullies over the years, but on the inside I was completely going insane with giddy. I walked past room 3 and turned a corner walking right up to the library doors. Now this is what im excited for, the best library in the district, school or not. If you can't tell I'm an absolute nut for reading.
   I walked in and gazed around the room. Nonfiction, Fiction, Graphic Novels, Manga/Anime, Music are- Wait! ANIME? My old school didn't have this! Fuck yah. I slowly walked over flipping out on the inside but keeping a calm exterior I shuffled over to the section, and grabbed a book I was familiar with off the shelf and sat in a conveniently placed corner.
   I felt like I was being watched and glanced around. I quickly shaked off the feeling as to not seeing anyone around.
   After I had finished the small book, I put it on the shelf and checked the time. 7:50 I got ten minutes to be in home room. I slowly walked toward the exit to the library but before I could make it all the way someone grabbed my arm.
   I winced as the person softly pulled a bit on my arm to grab my attention.
"You look new." Said a surprisingly gravely voice. One that made your insides quiver. I turned around and saw a boy slightly taller than me, with deep, navy blue hair, piercing dark onix eyes, and perfect face that wasn't to pale and wasn't dark either. His face wasn't exactly chiseled, but he sure as hell wasn't fat.
   H-he was perfect. No he is a guy for god sakes. You should like girls Alex girls, girls are hot, va jay jays are great, boobs are wonderful right?...... oh god who am I kidding He is fucking perfect.
   All of these thoughts happened in about the span of three seconds. I felt the cuts start to re-open so I snatched my arm away, maybe a little too quickly.
"Don't touch me." I said a little more harsh than I ment it, but I didn't have time to apologize because I could feel the warm liquid start to seep into the bandages.  "Hey im sorry." He said in his deep and raspy tone. Perfect voice too.
   Scared of my own attraction to him I gave him the bird and whispered "fuck off." Push him away you are a male. He is straight. He is a god. You are nothing but a slave, or better yet a monster. You are having horrible thoughts about the same gender. You are nasty and dirty. Push him away so he can't come to close.
I ran off the the bathroom as fast as I could, face completely void of emotion,  but inside almost breaking down in tears.

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Ik this was kinda short but the other lil chapies will be longer.... comment and vote... i live on comments and if u liked the story share it with yo friends and shtuff like that....
  Love, Berry-kun