5.1K 202 110

Dear diary,
If only I had some kind of warning, a sign even before he came crashing into my life. He got inside me; mind, body and soul. Stained me to the point of no return.

However, my heart is out of his reach, wound tightly by my demons, with a lock made by my own blood, and not even I have the key to unlock it...

We both have our demons. We both know we're beyond being saved. Yet we still pull each other in, knowing full well that when it ends it's going to vigorously destroy us.

Where I'm being haunted by the demons in my head day in and day out, he's eternally trapped in the past, constantly trying to find more pain to drown out what happened. He destroys everything he touches. Stains everything he touches... including me. Especially me.

Everything I have and have had belongs to the demons that haunt me. They have me shackled in my own mind, torturing me relentlessly. They've tormented me into so many tiny pieces that you wouldn't even know where to start, if you were to even try to save me.

Our addictions clashed almost painfully. We weren't willing to give either up for the other, because we needed it to survive. They weren't even normal addictions like alcohol or drugs. We physically hurt ourself on purpose to drown out the pain... but worst of all; we thought we deserved it.

My past left its toll on me and now I'm just broken. A corpse trying to get through life, because ending it was never really an option. Despite the demons that have condemned me to a life of misery, I wish to have never met him. And I know he feels the same. Maybe more.

Hope used to be such a strange concept to me, and now it seems possible all just because of him. And I hate that, hate him for giving me that. But what I hate more is how much I love him...

StainedWhere stories live. Discover now