chapter 4

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I was so scared, I tried to push him off, but he was pressing his body onto mine so hard. I could barely breathe. Not going to lie, wow he was hot and I was getting turned on too, but I didn't like the way he went about it; he could have at least asked me! He opened the zipper of his trousers and I was thinking 'oh my god'! I tried to scream which was useless he had his hand over my mouth. I was desperate to escape. I loved him to death, but at this minute I didn't trust him; my initial thought was that he was going to rape me. I felt disgusted as he breathed into my ears kissing my neck gently. Damn, I started to blush and he chuckled. He forcefully pressed his lips onto mine and I reluctantly kissed back; I didn't want to provocate him.

"Al, I know you want this. I'm going to give you what you've lusted for" he said demandingly.

"Ron please! Yes, I want you but not like this! Please let me go before you do something you'll regret" I pleaded.

"Al, no chance. Don't even try to change my mind. This is happening" he said with an annoyed voice.

"Ron, I'm scared. I don't even know why I'm hesitating" by saying this I was trying to get myself some time to think of how I could get myself out of this position.

"Please, let's just go as far as we can today. Let me show you on what you've been missing on so far" Ron said, trying to convince me.

"Alright then, but the minute I've had enough- he didn't let me finish and cut me off by starting to swiftly nibbling on my ears. The thing is I didn't feel uncomfortable, I was getting slightly aroused. Was I getting wet? Oh my, I was! I decided to just go with the flow; after all Ron was my boyfriend. He could tell that I was getting into it. To my surprise, I found my way into his boxers and was rubbing his manhood. He started to moan. It was a strange sound and I couldn't help myself but laugh. It didn't take long and Ron got hard. This is when my anxiety kicked in...

I started to panic and he could feel me stiffen underneath him. No, it was time for me to get out of here. I paused.

After about 1 minute of this he had undone my top and threw it to the floor as if he were possessed. I started to feel as uncomfortable as I did last time, but I didn't try to fight it, I joined in with it and without noticing i was tearing away at his top like a sex crazed animal and that seemed to make him even hornier. We continued to kiss passionately for a few more minutes and then all of a sudden I felt his hand, going down my body so slowly and softly....towards my core. I fidgeted a bit as if I hadn't noticed and so his hand would move away...but it didn't. It was getting ever so closer, and strangely i was not going to stop him, i had decided i was going to let him go down there...and whatever he wanted to do i would let him do.

He put his hand down my knickers and started to rub my core softly and sweetly. I could tell by the look on his face that he knew how moist I was and how much i was enjoying it. He continued to rub and rub, circling my clit ever so slowly...he was making me moan with pleasure...I couldn't help it.

As soon I thought I couldn't get more turned on, he moved his finger lower as, I'm certain he could tell I wanted him inside of me. All my irrational fears and nerves that I had earlier were long gone and the only thing that entered my mind was pure lust and pleasure. Then he slowly put his finger inside of me and my body jerked upwards as he entered but it wasn't out of shock, it was out of pure pleasure. His finger started to roam around, looking for my spot. I was enjoying the experience so much i didn't notice that he had taken off his trousers again, so as I was just too turned on to care, I took off my trousers and knickers too. So there we were, naked on his bed whilst he was fingering me.

My moaning was getting louder as he got closer to my spot, then when he found it and started to rub it hard but slowly...and my moaning went out of control. I was in an orgasm frenzy as he was stimulation my clit and my spot, I was in heaven. After a few minutes, I realised that I wasn't returning the favour. I was letting him go this far so it was only a matter of time until he wanted to really get inside me. So I took his very impressive manhood in my hand and started to play with it. I knew if I wanted him to be in me I had to make him hard. So I tossed him off so hard it felt like I was going to rip it off.

Lust had overcome me and I was doing things i never would have imagined. I could hear him moan with pleasure...and i wanted to hear him moan more. I took his manhood and I started to suck on it, it was so big I couldn't get much in my mouth without choking, I had heard deep throating really wasn't nice so i didn't even attempt to do it. I just started to go crazy; I was bobbing up and down on his it looked like I was bobbing for apples at a Halloween party.

I was making him moan so loud and it just drove me wilder and made me do it faster. But then...he started to say things... like "that's it you dirty bitch" you know you love it". At that point... i realised what was happening. I was becoming exactly what he wanted me to be, he just wanted to turn me into a bad girl and I was letting him. But then...he stopped...he turned me over and told me "it's time".

Those words struck much fear in me it was like death himself was saying it. I couldn't handle matter how turned on and crazy I was, i didn't want to do it now. I wanted us to be equal partners and for it to be proper love making when we finally did it, not just a moment of pure lusting that went too far. With all these thoughts going through my head I decided to get of the bed and started to get dressed. Ron just sat on the bed and started at me with a look of confusion...and disappointment. It was like he resenting me for not wanting to go all the way. Like he thought I was too scared.

"Why didn't you want to do it" He said with a slight hint of irony.

"I don't feel ready yet wasn't the right moment...i wanted it to be special and romantic" I said.

Ron looked straight into my eyes...and he laughed. He found it funny that I wanted to lose my virginity by love making and not just some "hot lustful sex". He tried to hug me but I moved away from him. That little gesture didn't stop him from laughing or trying to hug me. He was trying to laugh it off and i could tell by the look in his eyes he wanted to try lure me back into bed. I was so annoyed at him... and I'd had enough of this... so i just snapped.

"Ron...Get The Fuck Away From Me" I yelled. "I don't want to have fucking sex with you now Ron, not if you're just going to take it as a big joke". And with that i broke free of him and ran out of his house with tears dripping down my face. Ron was left with pure fury.

And then the shocking thing happened...

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