Life Consquences(On Hold)

Fears

I walked down the street as fast as I could to get to the bus since I had no other option to get to school. I was almost running late and I barely had enough time to put on a pair of leggings and a random hoodie. The weather decided to have a cold snap, one could never trust South Carolina's weather. And after many bad wardrobe choices like being stuck with a sweater in 65 degree weather in February, I decided to always stick my arm or leg outside before choosing what I was going to wear that day. I could care less what our neighbors thought.

Hours later, my legs ached from being cramped under my desk and longed to stretch out flat. Mrs. Smitzers class seemed especially long today. I glanced back at the clock and noticed it was just a few minutes later than the last time I checked. I scanned the room and half the kids were on their phones at least the ones in the back. I subtly wonder if that's why no one sits up in the front except for the few academic scholars who thought that they were so much better than the rest of us just because they had a different letter stamped on their tests. I had spent the last few days pouring myself into my school focusing my entire attention on studying for my exams coming up. Cody even felt left out, but school had to come first. Technically it's partly my fault, my procrastination gets the better of me so I find myself usually at one o'clock at night finishing a report. The bell finally rang, and a parade of students filed out of the school room.

I walked down the hallway paying close attention to where I put my foot since every time I didn't; I fell on my face or ran into someone. Glancing around, I meet his eyes from across the hallway. The dark circles left as soon as I saw them. He didn't even notice me or if he did, he didn't care and that was more than fine by me. Only seeing Zayn brought back so many memories that I tried so hard to forget. It had been weeks since that night and weeks since I had thought or seen him. It pulled something inside me and broke the fragile hope that this would stay in the past. I would constantly be reminded of waking up in some else's bed, and I am haunted by it every single day for the rest of my life. Would it be worth telling the truth, letting out my secret and ruining everything I loved? Rumours would spread and I would be the talk of the school. Plus, called all sorts of words and names. But was I really worried about what other people thought of me or was I worried what I thought of myself? An even greater horror would present itself. I did one of the worst things you can do in a relationship. I wasn't scared of losing my relationship as much as losing Cody and hurting him, but the guilt of what I did followed me everywhere and there was only one way to get rid of it. I didn't dare do that. I loved him but we were friends long before we started dating. Not only was he my boyfriend, but he was also one of my best friends.

Which option was better? Letting go of the past and forget about it and let the guilt be with me for the rest of my life or tell the truth and deal with the consequences. In my mind I knew which one was the better option, but my fear of the unknown kept the truth sealed on my lips. I was the only one who would know, and I was going to keep it that way. Striding through the hallways I quickly went around a hallway and started towards my next class which happened to be science, chemistry specifically one of the few I liked, but I still sucked at it. The class went by surprisingly fast and I managed to get some helpful notes for exams coming up. Striding down the hallways to my last class of the day Rhea comes bonding up to me.

“So what are you doing today, we should hangout after school,” she asked.

“I’m  sorry I can’t today. I have to study for our exams coming up and have a big report, I need to finish,” I replied.

“Come on you need a break. One can only do so much, plus we haven’t hanged out in a while,” she pleaded.

“Fine we can grab food at the Chipotle,” knowing that was her favourite restaurant, “And I am still going to bring my books and we can study after.” She rolled her eyes but nodded her head anyway. When I made it into my class thankfully I wasn’t late again and took my seat preparing myself for a long lecture which Mr. Charles was famous for in our school.

Finally school was over and I searched the parking lot for Sophie’s car. Once I find it, I run over to her BMW  to wait while she is probably kissing someone behind the bleachers.

Her hair swung back and forth out of her ponytail as she jogged over to me next to the car. “I wonder what you were doing,” I said with a knowing smile, but instead of a lite blush rising to her cheeks she looked totally confused. Her face quickly changed and a forced laugh came out of her. Which was unlike how she would normally react by making a simple joke about it or something. Something was off and I  was going to find out. “Is something wrong?” I asked.

After a long moment she sighed and replied, “Just stressed. You know school, home, and other responsibilities.”

“Gotcha. Oh my goodness, Polar Ice is closing. That was our only frozen yogurt place in town. That sucks!” I exclaimed.

“Aww, I love some frozen yogurt,” she sighed.

We continued to talk about life and issues, when she pulled the car over and announced, “I need to get some things at Walmart, do you need anything?” I shook my head and fifteen minutes later she came out with vitamin water, Reese’s, and tampons.

Which reminds me I still haven’t  had my period. I had earlier thought that it was because of stress and sometimes my birth control would make my periods irregular and late, but what now, it had been over about four weeks.

Another update coming soon

Thanks for for reading!