So, I'm fairly certain that if you could see me in person some of you would throw something at me. Not that I can blame you or anything. I have been gone for a longggg time and for that I apologize. I don't think I've gone this long without updating. Long story short, my school work just got overwhelming and then I was sick for a few days and I had writers block for a while. There were a lot of issues but now I'm back and I hope that you guys can forgive me for leaving you hanging.

I know some of you are concerned about when this story is going to end so I'm just going to say that even though Nick's secret is out and Libby's secret is out, there is still more to come. I've got a lot of cliff hangers up my sleeve and while that sucks it also means there are more surprises and more thrills.

Dedicated to musicismylife86 for the amazing cover on the side. Thank you for making it and it looks really good :)

Thank you to anyone who is reading this story and/or voting, commenting, or fanning. I appreciate it all (:

(Sorry for the long wait as well as any spelling/grammar errors)

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Chapter 23

Libby Ashford

 

I’d always known I was different but not like this. Growing up, I counted myself apart from other people. I had felt that there was a one way glass wall between them; the normal, and me; the anomalous. It was like there was an unspoken boundary between the people whose biggest worry was getting to work on time and me. Clearly, I had bigger things to worry about. The people my own age had parties and friends listed in the top spots of importance while I idly considered whether it was alright to wear a white shirt that day for fear of it getting stained maroon with my blood. It was the separation of priorities that made the distance between myself and them. I’d been able to see into their lives but mine was as much a mystery to them as is the person who fired the bulled so aptly name shot heard ‘round the world.

Always the quiet observer, I watched the way other people ran their lives. Whether I was in school or being forced to go to a social gathering to support the man I was to call father, I was always the one to stand in the background and watch. Interestingly enough, I found that people made mistakes when they followed their emotions. There are two parts to a person; the fundamental and undoubtedly more realistic brain and the vague, forever changing soul. It’s common knowledge that when making life altering decisions, you should listen to your brain because it naturally sees the big picture. Without having any indication, your brain is more susceptible to making decisions for the long run. So often, however, a person doesn’t have the willpower or the strength to look beyond the present to see the big picture. They end up following their emotions and that in itself is where the mistake begins. When you follow your emotions and ignore the logical side of your brain, you’re more likely to slip up and let your guard down and it’s there that you’ll realize your mistake. Well, you’ll realize it after you undoubtedly suffer a consequence from it. Maybe it’s a little pessimistic of me to think of life like that but it was the way I saw it. I had come to this town thinking that life was meant to always be viewed through the brain and not the heart but as I’ve known since I was a child, nothing is constant and everything is consistently changing.

Somehow Nick had muted my logical side and turned up the volume on my feelings.

I wasn’t one to be uncertain of myself or my actions for I usually had time to think things through but Nick changed that. He brought with him many things, many emotions, that I had never thought I would feel. Security, warmth, but most of all, uncertainty. The odd thing was that my brain was telling me that Nick was good for me however my gut remained uncertain. Not quite sure whether I should head for the hills for stay and enjoy the course I’d already verbally accepted, my gut feeling hung in the balance. The moment I had implied I was alright with his canine counter-part, the nagging uncertainty rose up in me. I wanted to try and pretend everything was alright but I couldn’t. Not when I wasn’t sure if I knew everything.

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