Post It

twenty-one

    I open the envelope and it is a bit thicker than the others, but just a little bit. His letters have been progressively getting longer so I'm not that surprised, in fact I'm excited because through his words I get to know him better. I might not have a clue how he looks like, but I know how he expresses himself. Maybe we've run into each other in the street without knowing, maybe we even had a class together once but we don't know. However, I feel that if I read anything written by him I would know immediately he's the author, even if I don't even know his name. I would say 'H wrote this' with confidence pouring off my voice. I don't know how his voice sounds, whether is husky or soft, high or low, but at the same time I do know his voice, or better said, the way he voices things.

He's been walking me from one place to the other the whole day, he's metaphorically taken my hand the whole day and even if it's getting chilly I don't feel cold at all as I hold these pages in my hands. If I close my eyes and take a deep breath I kind of feel him with me, kneeling in front of me and looking up, smiling at me and taking my hands to push me to keep going. A faceless man that feels so familiar.

I wonder if it's like this how people with prosopagnosia feel. Incapable of recognising, memorising a face so they have to rely on other things to know to whom they are talking to.

I think faces and what people look like distract us from seeing the real them, to really listening to what they are saying. When we can't see the face of that person writing to us we hold tighter on to the words, because that's all we have. I've held on to H's letters because I don't know what he looks like and today, less than twenty-four hours have felt longer because I’ve got to know him. I’ve got to know his world, his friends, his interest, his ideologies without getting distracted by appearances. Even if we say we don't allow ourselves be fooled by appearances, we can't help filtering the people we meet by what they look to us. It's the first thing that gets through us, so how couldn't we? But when we are kept from seeing we instead can listen, we can touch, we can smell, and even taste. Aren't four senses more powerful than just one?

It's funny how doing this is not only taking me closer to a stranger, but it is also showing me things I never stopped to question before. It has made me think and ponder truths I took for granted. It has made me reflect on my behaviour and society.

I chuckle because when I left home I just thought I was going to meet a guy and I was scared, I was nervous. But I've done so much more than I could've ever imagined.

With that smile still on my lips, I finally start reading the letter.

Dear Maca,

Are you still clapping? You can't tell me they didn't blow you away with their performance. What song did you ask them to play? You have to tell me when we meet and tell me all your thoughts. I want to know first hand how you've felt today, in every stop.

I don't know if Lee Won told you how we met. If she didn't or if she did, I'm still telling you.

In my life there are many important things and I like giving a chance to every thing that catches my attention, even if it is really silly and it won't contribute in any way to my life. I have to try and see what it feels like, even if it is useless. I've tried many things, Maca. I regret some because they were just disgusting (like eating crickets. Ew ew ew! Good thing you're vegetarian) but at the same I don't regret them because it's been interesting. They have spiced my life up a little bit.

I had just watched one of these talent shows on the telly and there was this guy who had many instruments on stage with him. The cello, violin, guitar, tambourine, a mini drum set and a flute. And he went from one to the other performing one son. He started playing the other instrument  while the previous one was still echoing. I thought it was amazing how he could play so many instruments so well and fast, switching from one to another as if he were taking his clothes off. So I decided to find someone like that and I went to the music classes in uni. I had taken some because of my major, but this time I was just window-shopping. There are many talented people in the music major but I didn't find someone like him, instead I found this group who combined many instruments to play any kind of music. No matter what you ask them for, they pull it off somehow making it sound incredible. I've been their fan since then.