Heathers Without Veronica

BEAUTIFUL

[HEATHER C, spoken]
September 1st, 1989
Dear Diary:
I believe I'm a terrible person. You know, I think that everyone sucks, but—here we are! First day of senior year! And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?

[KIDS, sung]
Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!

[HEATHER D]
We were so tiny, happy and shiny
Playing tag and getting chased

[KIDS]
Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!

[HEATHER M]
Singing and clapping, laughing and napping
Baking cookies, eating paste

[KIDS]
Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!

[HEATHER C]
Then we got bigger, that was the trigger
Like the Huns invading Rome

(spoken)
Go, slut!

(sung)
Welcome to my school, this is a high school. La la la la la!

Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon

[KIDS]
White trash!

[HEATHER D]
College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can't be beautiful
I pray, I pray for the same way
If we changed back then, we can't change again
We can't be beautiful...

[A PREPPY STUD knocks a HIPSTER DORK to the floor.]

[HIPSTER DORK, spoken]
Ow!

[HEATHER C, sung]
Ugh, not today.

(spoken)
Get away, nerd!

[HIPSTER DORK, spoken]
Oh, okay.

[HEATHER D, spoken]
*Scowls*

[KIDS, sung]
Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!

[HEATHER D]
Things will get better soon as my letter
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown
Wake from this coma, take my diploma
Then I can blow this town up
Dream of blood-covered walls and smoky gas chambers

[HEATHER C jostles RAM SWEENEY.]

[RAM, spoken]
S-sorry!

[HEATHER D]
I have the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!

[RAM stares at HEATHER C's for too long.]

[RAM, spoken]
O-oops!

[HEATHER C, spoken]
Ram Sweeney. Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and having a huge dick...

[RAM, spoken]
You got that right.

[HEATHER C, spoken]
Get out of my face!

[sung, (KIDS)]
But I know, I know...
I know, I know...
Life can't be beautiful
Beautiful
I pray, I pray
I pray, I pray
For the same way
For the same way
We were kind before;
(Oooh...)
We can't be kind once more
(Oooh...)
We can't be beautiful..,
(Oooh... Beautiful...)

[MARTHA approaches.]

[HEATHER C, spoken]
Agh!... Hey, Dumptruck!

[MARTHA, spoken]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[MARTHA tried to run away, but HEATHER D stops her.]

[HEATHER C, spoken]
Martha Dumptruck. Loser since diapers.

[MARTHA, spoken]
Can I go now?

[HEATHER C, mocking]
Can I go now?

[MARTHA, spoken]
Please?