Thirty Five

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Thirty Five

City Lights.

I watched the blinds rolled up, revealing the beautiful night view right in front of me. The towering buildings looked fascinating accented with orange, yellow and white lights. I had always loved this view, it gave me peace when I most needed it. However, it didn't seem to serve its purpose now. No, Not at all. I stared at it but my head was still in chaos. Everything inside me was still troubled.

The old hiking place. The view up there was a total opposite of the one in front of me at the moment. The trees were replaced by skyscrapers, the stars had turned into building floors.

I was in an entirely different world now. Miles and miles away from what I considered home for the last months. The ambiance was far from similar and every minute I spent here seemed to trigger that familiar sinking feeling in my heart.


I took a deep breath as I stood, my bare feet touching the cold floor. I walked towards the glass wall and stopped right before it. My attention fell on the phone in my hand as I tapped on the play button, scared but desperate to listen to the voice I had been longing to hear.

"Just come back." He was drunk, his voice raspy and unsteady. "Come home to me already. Baby please."

This wasn't the first time I listened to this, in fact not the second, nor the tenth. Honestly, I lost count already. Maybe I listened to it over a hundred times. Yet, it still gave me the same feeling.

The same regret, the same heartbreak.

My grip on my phone tightened as I suddenly felt like suffocating. I looked around and everything seemed to be closing in, making it harder to breathe. I darted my attention to the city lights and for some reason they started to be unclear.

I felt like falling, sinking.

"No." I muttered in a panicked voice. "No, no..." I turned around to check my room. "I shouldn't be here." I bit my lip. "I shouldn't be in Australia. What am I doing here?" I moved my head sideways. "I can't be here. I can't be here..."

"Hae Won..." I heard Baekhyun's voice somewhere.

My attention darted towards the door, I saw a figure of a man.

"Baekhyun?" I called.

"How could you leave me like this?" He asked.

What he just said was knife stabbing, I flinched. I wanted to step closer to him but my feet weren't moving. I couldn't move them. I opened my mouth, wanting to speak but I couldn't as well. Panicking, I started to hyperventilate. I was crying silently, my heart wanting to explode and the moment I looked at the door once more, he wasn't there anymore.

"Baekhyun! Baekhyun..." I kept calling, using the voice in my head. "Baekhyun..."

Then there came a very loud sound, I ended up covering my ears using my both hands. It was so loud I didn't know where it was coming from...



I was dreaming. It was all a dream.

I flinched as I took a deep breath to fill my lungs with air. I brought my hands to my face and realize that I was crying. After wiping my cheeks, I hastily looked around and found out that I was still on the train on my way to Seoul. The train came to a full stop and that was where the loud sound originated.

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