Before You Go

chapter thirty

"I am," I reply, pushing the covers back. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and stretch out my sore muscles. My head throbs with every movement I make, so I reach out and grab the pills, tossing them in my mouth and following them with a big gulp of water. I then set the cup down and briefly close my eyes, wishing the pills would kick into action immediately.

"You look rough this morning," James says. I feel the mattress sink beneath his weight as he sits down beside me. "How are you feeling?"

Buried feelings from yesterday's fight are still fresh in my mind, so the buzz of frustration is potent; I'm still mad that James tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to jump. With the combination of my frustration and the headache, I open my eyes and glare James down. "I'm not sure, James. You just watched me toss back a couple of painkillers. What would your common sense say? Apparently, you're very good with common sense. Remember yesterday? When you told me I wasn't allowed to jump?"

The look on his face is pained. "Eliza."

I get to my feet and begin to head for the bathroom, despite how badly the room is swaying. Honestly, I'm a little pissed that I've done this to myself. I've had enough hangovers in my life – I didn't need another one. "Whatever. I need to get this taste out of my mouth. Talk to me after I've finished getting ready for the day."

As I'm passing by, James grabs my hand. "Eliza, can we please talk? I want to talk to you. Now."

I stare into his dazzling brown eyes. Normally, I'm the first one to speak in these types of fights, but he's clearly the one who has something to say. Quite frankly, he can go for it. I just want these painkillers to kick in so I can take a peaceful, hot shower.

"Look," he says. He takes my hand and threads his fingers with mine. "I know I was wrong for telling you what to do, but you have to realize where I'm coming from. What you did yesterday was reckless, Eliza. That was clearly a dangerous situation to put yourself in and I was worried that you would end up getting hurt. I thought we were past this kind of stuff – especially after our conversation about going to Colombia for our honeymoon. You're a free spirit, Eliza, but we're adults now and we have to act like it. We can't be doing stupid shit when our lives are just beginning."

I press my lips into a flat line and avert my gaze. My anger is starting to boil over. I can understand why James was concerned, but what he doesn't understand is that I wouldn't have done it had there been a single sense of doubt within me. And what the hell is with him calling me a child?

"James," I say through clenched teeth. "I'm flattered that you were worried about me, but you're pissing me off with your excuses. I wouldn't have jumped if I had any sense of danger. Leon, Tenille, and I have been jumping off of those cliffs for years. And why the hell are you calling me a child when you're the one that's clearly acting like one? What? Are you jealous that we had the guts to jump and you didn't?"

My voice is getting louder and louder, the anger in my gut ready to explode like a goddamn volcano. I wrench my hand free from his grip. How dare he. How fucking dare he.

James gets to his feet. "That's unfair of you to say," he argues. "I'm not jealous of anything, but ever since Leon got here, you've been acting different. Reckless. Unpredictable. Where is this coming from? I'm not trying to control you, Eliza, or dictate all the decisions in our relationship, but you need to be smarter with the decisions you make."

"Really?" I spit, arching a brow. "Then what the hell was wrong with going to Colombia for our honeymoon? Huh? And leave Leon out of this – he has nothing to do with this argument. Also, I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions! My own smart decisions!"

He throws his hands up in the air with an exasperated look on his face. "Colombia is dangerous!"

Something inside me snaps. "There are plenty of goddamned precautions we could have taken and you know it! For the love of God, James! When I agreed to marry you it was because I thought you were one of those men who wouldn't try to hold me back or suppress my passions." I flick my gaze up and down his body, disgusted with him. "But maybe...Maybe I was wrong."