Un-Predictable

{ Chapter 21 }

Jayden's P.O.V.

"You see, Bree is suffering from a brain bleed from the heavy fall onto the road and also from the strain she pushed against her body .... she has stitches where the cut is and at the moment she is in a coma and on life support.. We don't know if she will wake up or if she will be okay but we will do our best.." The doctor said with a sad look on her face, making my heart burn in pain with each word. Is this it? I have asked myself so many times before, I sure as fuck hope not she can't die like this but I refuse to hold too much hope to have it crumble in front of me.

"There is one more thing" the doctor said quietly adverting all our attention.
"Brienne has a 75% chance of memory loss...."the nurse said sympathy clear in her eyes. Wait what? No, no, NO!!. I have to get away from here, I started to pace around the small hospital corridor until I was iscolated , pulling at my hair in frustration with so many emotions and thoughts running through my mind. My eyes started to feel watery and I started to feel my body try and shut down into the feeling of numbness but it didn't work. Instead my mind had other plans and I sat there slumped against the plain creme wall crying with my hoodie covering up my face.

"Jay?" Julie's voice echoed through my ears.

"Yeah?" I said looking up with watery eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked while sliding down next to me. I turned my head to look at her, my hoodie still covering my face.

"Actually no, I'm not okay Jules I'm lost, broken, worried and most of all scared." I said with a shaky voice.
"God I'm so pathetic right now..." I added, pushing my hoodie back so she could see my face. Jules moved closer to me and just laid on my chest sobbing lightly, while I held her close rubbing her back.

"You aren't pathetic Jay... you are just emotional and it's okay to feel the way you feel. I know I do....I feel lost and scared and I just want to run, but I can't..." she mumbled softly against my chest. Her body starting to shake as her crying turned heavy into whimpers.

"We all want to run, but what does it do for us?... Do you know how much this fucking sucks I hate it!, this shouldn't have happened to her it should have happened to me...I caused this! she is here because of my anger.... I know she wouldn't want me here crying and blaming myself..but I need to.. I need to let it all out and take in every possibility and prepare myself for the worst if it happens or not" I said lightly my voice cracking towards the end.

"I don't want her to die Jay.. but you know what? everyone gets to a point in there life where eventually that fight is gone.. she has been fighting for years and it's gotten worse and worse every time I know she is dying Jay, I just don't chose to acknowledge... do you think it's her time?" Jules sniffled with a croaky voice from her breakdown.

"I honestly hope it's not her time, but I don't want this way to be a goodbye, if she died right now I would feel nothing but guilt my whole life and lost.... I'm holding onto everything I can to believe she will wake and be okay. If she wakes I will say my goodbye and leave her, as hard as it will be it's for the best I'm just an emotional roller coaster for her, it's bad for her to be around someone as explosive as me I just can't...." I softly said to Jules, it's always been in my mind that idea I've just been to selfish to acknowledge it and actually do it, but hearing the words out loud from my own mouth literally smashes my heart. But it is for the best I know it is....no matter how hard she will try to convince me, I can't be around her.

"Jay you can't be serious!" Jules said sitting up and looking me dead in the eye. "You can't leave her! you have given her something no one else has, you want to know what that is?, it's love and support you have been there for her through all this more than anyone, more than us! you can't leave no matter how bad you think you are for her! You are right for her, you bring her fun and give her a love that consumes her! you can't be that stupid to throw that away. Your relationship with her is something every girl has dreamed of, the way you look into her eyes with adoration, kiss her softly, take her places, support all her decisions and most importantly always there!. You cannot walk away after all you two have been through." Julie said huffing after her long speech.