Part 1

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A cold wind was blowing my short hair and exposed arms. I feel the chill, which I don't mind. Actually, it reminds me of the place I once called home.  Not that it was any good memories... well at least most of them weren't. But it was memories stuck to my brain, haunting me every night when I try to sleep.

The sky got dark, as heavy clouds were attracting over my head, but I smile. First time in a while I knew I was safe. As safe as running from government woman can feel. At least I knew that no one in Wakanda gonna tries to kill me in my sleep. Yet, for some reason, I wasn't able to close my eyes tonight, when I lay in a soft bed.

I listen carefully making sure everyone was asleep when I sneak out of my room and make my way to one of the many balconies in this mansion.
I lean on my elbows at the edge and look in the dark when my peace was interrupted with heavy footsteps getting closer behind me. I wasn't ready to leave yet, so I didn't move. I glare with the corner of my eyes and see that familiar mass frame.
It made me close my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. He was the last person I want to interact with right now.  Actually, he was the last person I would ever want to interact ever again, and it took me a lot of straights to open my mouth first when he stood beside me.

"I tho you should be much better at sneaking up to someone, Soldier."
"Didn't want to scare you." He responded in a calm tone and was also looking in the profound dark forest ahead of us.

"Why you aren't sleeping?" it was the first reasonable question that I can come up with on the spot.
"I slept for a very long time, so the real question is, why aren't you ?"
"Don't feel tired enough, I guess." I feel the need to respond to make sure he won't notice how nervous I feel around him. But it wasn't an easy task. I always made sure never to be left alone with him and if possible to avoid any contact or this kind of pointless conversation, just for that purpose.

No matter my effort, my body was giving up on me when he also leans on the edge copying my pose. I feel that familiars lump in my throw and how hard my heart was pounding in my chest. I feel a desperate need to abandon this situation, so I straightened myself up and turned to leave.

"You don't have to be frightened of me." his voice was smooth and calm but with slight desperation behind it.
"Did you ever try to say that to someone you shot twice, before? Because it's easier to say than to do."
"I tho, Black Widow aren't scared of anyone."
"I'm not. But I rather avoid your company, Barnes. Nothing personal."

I try to sound sassy like I always do, but I knew he didn't have it. He looked up to me, and all I can see is those clear blue eyes in the dull, that was hiding all the pain and horror. He was looking right through me. I knew it the second I saw a little smirk on his delicate lips.

"Nothing personal? Really? You great liar, but not as good as you think."
"What is that supposed to mean ?" blood in my veins got cold when he took a step forward me.
"It's very personal, and that's exactly why you are avoiding me."
"Oh, Barnes, you not that special. I don't like you. Steve may trust you, but I don't, and I never will. I was..."
"Trained not to trust anymore and always look behind your back." he finishes my sentences and makes me freeze in my spot for a couple of seconds.

"Russian, the school, teach us to survive, not to enjoy living."
"No. I teach you to survive, and you choose not to enjoy it the life you were given," My heart skip a beat as his words cut me so deep.

"What did you say?!" I raise my voice and cut all the acting as rage was steaming through my ears.
"You heard me. You had a second chance to live your life peacefully. Leave all the nasty stuff behind and move on, but look at, you know. You turn full circle, just now the different government is after you."
"You have no right to tell me that !!!"
"Yes, I do. I was ready to die, to make sure you free and you blow that away. You could have done so much better Natalia."

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