79. Decision

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Author's Note

Hey guys! First I would like to say that I am doing this on my phone so if there are any errors I am sorry. I hope you have enjoyed my story so far. I love all of you!

Elizabeth's POV

I gaze down at him in disbelief. I have never seen Harry like this before, it's shocking and unnerving. To be honest, besides how he acts when he's with me, I have only seen him when his boiling in nuclear fury. Never would I imagine that there would be an opportunity where I would see him in a pool of sadness. Not that I ever wanted there to be one because seeing him here on his knees, sobbing, on the wooden floor is killing me inside.

"Harry, stop crying please" I whisper, hastily brushing my tears away with the tips of my fingers. Ugh! Harry still doesn't look up at me, I try again.

"Harry, I was just going to tell you that I need time." I shrugged even though I knew he wasn't looking at me. Harry still had his face covered with his hands. Damn it!

I know I should be angry with him, but knowing that I am the one that is causing him this pain, it’s unsettling. What am I supposed to do? What should I do?

I ponder for a moment and take in a deep breath to gain some courage and kneel down next to him. Harry slowly removes his hands from his face and looks up at me. Oh no, his face is stained with tears.

I purse my lips together and tears start to fall down my cheeks again at the sight of him.

"Harry, look I just need time. I need time to think this has been a long day. I was just going to suggest that I should stay over at Eleanor’s for tonight. " I say and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. Harry blinks at me and doesn’t say a word.

“I love you and you almost killed me… I need time to think Harry. How can I possibly believe that you still love me, when after you have said all of those things to me?” I ask him, praying that he would answer me.

"Elizabeth, please. Don't go" he pleads in a whisper. He looks at me with wide green eyes.

“Harry, I just can’t…” I whimper.

I can’t stand to look at him any longer so I turn my head to face the door .This is all so hard. Too much has happened that I feel like nothing has properly sunken in yet. I'm so confused, my mind is hay wired with all of these events and revelations.

"Elizabeth, look at me." Harry says and gently grabs my chin and turns my head to face him. "Please, don't leave" he begs me in a whispered tone. I scowl at him.

"Stop!" I snap, trying to hold back my tears. I lean away from him and stand up. His hand falls down to his lap and he looks up at me, appalled.

Harry slowly stands up, his expression now unreadable.

"You can't do this!" I yell at him in exasperation. "You can't ask me not to leave after everything that you have said to me!"

"Fucks sake ,Elizabeth!" Harry groans. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to me to kick you out?"

"No!" I yell at him, annoyed. "I want you to understand that I need space!"

Harry scowls deeply at me. "And I want you to understand that I fucking love you!"

I shake my head. "Harry, please" I beg him. "Give me time. I don't know how much of this I can take." I say, tears spring anew down my cheeks.

“How much more can you take? What more is there?” he asked raising his voice at me. “I told you everything. You wanted the truth, and I gave it to you. This is me. This is all of me.”

I groaned “Yes, I understand that Harry” I sobbed covering my face with both of my hands

“Then what’s the problem? Tell me so I can fix it” Harry said sternly.

“It’s you!” I said gesturing my hands towards him. “You’re the problem!”

Harry looks like I’ve tugged the rug from underneath him and regards me passively with his green gaze.

“Elizabeth, I…” Harry says blankly at me, struggling to find his words.  “This is me, Elizabeth. This is all of me. What can I do to make you believe that I love you?”

I sigh. “Harry, I love you and you know that” He nods in response.

“I love you too Elizabeth, I-“

“No, let me finish!” I interrupt him and he blinks at me waiting for me to continue. “I love you more than anything else in the world.” I swallow trying to contain my emotion and fresh bout of tears that threaten to escape.

“However, I can’t help how I’m feeling right now.” I shake my head sadly. “I’m scared of you” I admitted and his face falls.  Harry sighs and shakes his head looking at the floor.

“Elizabeth, I know you are. I can’t blame you for that. “His voice is soft and low. I swallow, feeling painful knots in the deep part of my stomach.

“Harry, maybe it’s best if we go our separate ways“

“No” Harry says shaking his head at me. “That’s not an option” I roll my eyes.

“What do you want me to do Harry?” I asked him tears falling down my face. “I can’t pretend that everything is okay.”

“I want you to listen to me” Harry says in the same soft low voice from before. “When I saw you in his car so fragile…so broken... I didn’t know what to do.”

He shakes his head revealing his agony. “I was so angry with him, with you, with me. That is why I snapped at you, I know it’s no excuse. “ He stops and frowns.

“All of my worst dreaded fears have come true. He hurt you and so did I.” Harry’s eyes drift off and he falls silent as if he wanted to continue his disturbing thought but decided against it. Attentively, I walk up to him closing some of the agonizing distance between us.

“Harry, it isn’t your fault for what he did to me” I whisper. “You’re not responsible for that.”

“Yes I am. I swore that I’d keep you safe. I wasn’t there to help you…I didn’t get to you in time” Harry lets out in a sigh and runs a hand through his hair.

I bit on my lower lip. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do Harry. I’m supposed to be mad at you!” I sob and he regards me shrewdly and reaches over wrapping his arm around me.

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