Chapter 54

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[OKAY FIRST OF ALL! Thank you so so much for 50k readers on Shadows. I can't describe in words of how thankful I am. I never knew that my story would make it or if someone would even like it. I am just so glad that I got to share my story with all of you and I am so glad that all of you love it or at least like it! Again, thank you so much!]


"You know that I will always protect you, right?" Jace asked and I nodded. I knew whatever would happen, I would always have Jace.

"I would never question it." I said and Jace smiled. We stood for a while, still hugging each other. I think we both just needed to let our emotions go.

After our mother's death, we didn't even speak and now that we finally did, it made me feel much better. Much more relieved... I left after we hugged it out and wished each other a good night. As I got in near Alec's room, I heard whispers. I could tell that it was Alec and Isabelle.

"You have to tell her or I will." I heard Izzy whisper loud enough for me being able to hear it. From her voice of tone, I could tell that she was angry but why?

"I will but right now is not the right time." Alec whispered back. I could again feel the guilt through our parabatai bond and till this day, I had no clue why Alec felt this way. He never told me about it.

"Right time?! Clary deserves the truth!" Izzy shouted angrily. I frowned. What does she mean with that? Was Alec lying to me?

"Izzy, lower your voice! I will tell her just give me some time." Alec scolded Izzy. I heard Izzy sigh out of frustration.

"Fine, but if you don't tell her. I will." Izzy said again and I heard her walking out of the room. I quickly backed away and hid myself behind the other wall. I saw Isabelle furiously walking away and Alec was still in his room, sighing out.

I don't know what it was but something told me that Alec was hiding something that he shouldn't be hiding from me. Alec didn't wanted me to know and that was clear enough because it made Isabelle angry. I walked in the room and saw Alec laying down on his bed. When he saw me walking in, he got up and looked at me. For a second, I thought that he would tell me whatever it was that he was hiding but I gave that hope up when he looked down.

"I am so tired." He said and I just nodded. He was probably tired of lying. Alec stood up and gave me small kiss on my cheek before entering the bathroom. I just looked down.

He was not going to tell me. I knew it. I just knew it...

With a bad feeling, I laid down in bed without even putting my make-up off or the clothes that I went on a date with. I just closed my eyes and then heard Alec walking out of the bathroom. He didn't say anything and neither did he. He turned of the lights before he got in bed. I felt Alec's body near mine and his warmth made me feel warmer. I was mad at him but I don't know how to make him feel like I knew that he was hiding something from me? Should I confront him? Without even realising, I felt my eyes getting heavier and I felt asleep.

I was surrounded with only green around me. I heard the birds singing and saw them fly around. I saw the trees and it's leaves going up and down due to the wind. It was peaceful, It was somewhere where I would live and get old. I would perhaps live around here with Alec and grow old. Having an house here and see our children grow up here, looking from our bench to see them play with one another. Maybe if we were mundanes we would have this but as a Shadowhunter it was just a small imagination.

I felt the wind on my skin and closed my eyes to enjoy it until I heard a female voice scream in horror. I quickly opened my eyes and started to look around me to see where the scream was coming from but after I failed finding it, I heard the scream again but this time it was much closer. It was making me feel uneasy.

"Hello!" I shouted, hoping that the female who was screaming would respond back but there was no sound back.

I saw the sky blue sky turning grey. I frowned. This was not normal. It was turning way too fast into grey. The wind was getting stronger and the singing birds now stopped. I heard them coming. I could hear them. I saw more than thousands birds flying away in the same direction. It was so many birds that it covered the whole sky. I quickly ducked, hoping that the birds wouldn't hit me.

Now, I saw Shadows. The same Shadows I used to see when I wasn't aware of the Shadow world. I tried moving away but from another direction I saw that many more came my way. I screamed when I saw a body thrown towards me. When the person moved aside, I could see it's face and I gasped out loud.

"Mum!" I shouted when I saw her but it was too late. She was already dead. I could see that she had lost a lot of blood. The blood was coming out of her mouth and eyes. Just like when she was murdered... She was murdered again...

Something grabbed my mother's leg and quickly pulled her away.

"NO!" I screamed but I was too late. I couldn't stop it...

I woke up again as I almost let out a loud scream. My back was sweating and my hair was clinging onto my face, just because of the sweat. I was breathing way too fast and when I looked next to me, I saw that Alec was still asleep. This was the first time that I didn't wake him up. I sighed out and saw that I was still shaking.

I couldn't believe that my nightmares started again. They were gone for so long and now again, they are here. I got out of bed and go into the bathroom. I turned the lights on and looked at myself in the mirror. When I looked at myself, I saw some blood on my face. I frowned.

I knew that my nightmares started to physically affect me but now that it started again, everything felt way too real and this blood on my face... It was probably my mother's. I quickly washed my face and I saw that that the blood was coming off. I heard someone knock on the door and I flinched. I was still shaky.

"Clary? Are you okay?" I heard Alec's sleepy voice ask and I nodded but then realised that he couldn't see me.

"Yes." I said and my voice was way too shaky to even start talking with. I heard the door open and Alec looked at me. I could see that he was worried. Even when he was sleepy, he still tried to be there for me.

"Did you have a nightmare again?" He asked carefully as if he was afraid that he was going to break me with his words. I nodded my head slowly as he was getting closer to me. I saw him looking at the sink and then over at me.

"Why are you bleeding?" He asked and now held me.

"M-my mother died... It's her blood." I stammered and Alec's eyes widened. I could see that he was confused and so was I because how was all of this possible? How could anything that happened in my dream happen to me in real life?

"You are okay now." Alec said before pulling me in a hug. I sighed out and held him tightly. Whatever would happen, Alec always made me feel safe.

I don't know what he was hiding from me but I knew that it wouldn't change the fact about how I felt for him. I loved him and I knew nothing could change that. So whatever he was hiding, I don't want to know... I knew who Alec was. He would never hurt me on purpose... He loved me too...

[I hope you liked this chapter! Please make sure to vote on the chapters because they are going down and it is really not motivational and I know it is not about the votes but seeing how many I had before compared to now, makes me feel like I am doing something wrong because there is a big difference. So please do vote and let me know in the comments what you think about this chapter? How do you think Clary would react if she finds out what Alec is hiding from her?]

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