Chapter 51

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- Caspar's POV-

I closed my eyes and counted to three, hoping when I opened my eyes I'd realize everything that just happened was a dream.

1. 2. 3. I tried to pry my own eyes open, but my scared and pitiful soul wouldn't allow me. It wanted to keep my eyes closed forever to keep me safe.

When I finally negotiated with my eyes to open they did. I wished I hadn't. Everything I saw seemed to come in snapshots of 3 as well.

1. Joe was on the ground, people in black sitting on him, holding him down with a gun to his head.

2. Joe was limp and unmoving.

3. Ryan walked over to me.

"What have you done?" I stared numbly at the scene.

"Joe was going to kill you, Caspar." Ryan stopped inches away from me.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" My scream filled the entire room, every head turned to stare at me.

I ran towards Joe's body, and forcefully tried to rip off the people in black.

"GET OFF! GET OFF OF HIM!" I screamed, as I realized I wasn't strong enough to pull them off.

"Sir. We realize this man here is dangerous and tried to hurt you. We are only doing this to protect both you and him." One of them said.


They all looked at each other.

They reluctantly got off of Joe, but still hovered readily by the body.

I raced over, and held Joe's frail body in my arms. His head fell to the right side, limply. Lifelessly.

"What... What have you done?" Tears slipped down my cheeks and landed onto Joe's shirt. It wasn't like the movies though. It wasn't like those stupid children's shows where the tears of the loved one brings the body back to life. It wasn't some high school romance. It was real life. And in real life people don't come back from the dead.

"Joe, Joe wake up." I lightly slapped the sides of his cheeks. Watching as his skin got more and more pale by the second. His lips, sheet white. His head flopped around like a fish, as I slapped it harder and harder.

"WAKE UP!" I screamed into his ear, shaking his entire body. His stature had never seemed so small. So breakable. He was shattering to slivers in my arms. But I couldn't let go.

"You killed him." I whispered. I wasn't sure whether I was talking to myself or not.

"We saved you." Someone said. I didn't listen close enough to hear if it was Ryan or the people.

"You didn't save me. You ruined me. I am nothing without Joe. You ripped the biggest part of me away. You didn't save me. Don't ever say you saved me. The only way I can be saved is through Joe. How dare you ever, EVER, try to make yourself the heroine? How dare you ever act as if you have done a great deed? How dare you act as if my life is superior to Joe's? How dare you let me live? I don't want to live. Not alone." I heard my voice say.

"You're not alone." This time I could tell it wasn't Ryan's voice. For someone so full of energy, Ryan was sure keeping quiet.

A part of me wanted to turn and see what Ryan's face looked like. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from Joe. My fingers stroked Joe's face, as I continued to wait. Wait for Joe to wake up. It was all in vain.

I almost laughed, "Not alone? You're wrong. I'm completely alone without Joe."

"It's unhealthy to live a life so dependent on another human being."

"You're wrong. You're so completely wrong. Joe and I have something unreal. Something that surpasses average love. I can't live without him."

No response came. I was glad. I was already so tired. Exhausted.

I felt myself leaning into Joe to keep myself from falling over to sleep. My eyes twitched, begging me to keep them closed.

I didn't give in. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Joe's body. I felt that if I did, it'd be like letting go of him. Letting him die. It was a childish way of thinking, but I put my heart into that theory.

"Caspar? Are you okay?" I heard someone ask. Their voice sounded distant, as if floated around my head.

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I was too tired to even find my voice.

I bit my lip, hoping pain would keep me awake longer, as I continued to stare at Joe expectantly. My eyes focused in and out of vision, but I didn't give up. Even as my body was fighting against me, my willpower is stronger.


"Caspar, you can sleep."

I finally found my voice. My voice came out raspy and tired, "Don't." Was all I could say.

My eyelids felt like heavy weights, trying to come crushing down.

Don't. Don't give in.

My eyelids were winning.

I realized I was losing, but continued to fight in desperation.

I felt my eyelids close completely.

You're pathetic, I told my body. I hoped I never woke up, so I wouldn't have to go another day in the world without Joe. Great, my life had turned into some modern type of Romeo and Juliet.

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