Forget Me Not | Jensoo

Chapter 20

JISOO

She poured me some fresh squeezed orange juice and then sat down, facing me. Her grey eyes were distant like they never were before. She didn't really blink; she just sat there watching me. "You had a really great turn out." Finally words left her lips.

"I did." I smiled softly and patted her hand, which was splayed next to mine. "Thank you."

"For what?" She whispered.

"Believing in me." I shrugged and picked at the material of my board shorts.

"No need to thank me, Jisoo," she smiled and sat back, "you had a story to tell and you told it very well."

I cast my eyes downwards somewhat in guilt. "Are you upset?"

"Why would I be upset?" Jisoo sat up straighter and looked at me. "You wrote a love story that has yet to see its happy ending. You wrote true words and even though they weren't about me, they were beautiful."

"Why'd you do it?" I asked quietly. I needed to know why Soojoo was pulling Jennie in closer. "You invited Jennie after I told you not too."

"Are you complaining?" Soojoo raised an eyebrow. "Look, we both know I don't do this jealousy thing well and it's not even that I'm jealous. God Jisoo, you let Jennie walk away years ago because you thought she was happier with Kai. You didn't bother to fight for her because her happiness meant more to you than your own did."

"Soojoo," I sighed, "it was high school."

"And?" She laughed a little bit and shook her head. "So you wrote a whole love story about a girl back in high school, whom you kissed three months ago and are still in love with?"

I stared at her blankly. It was the very first time Soojoo voiced her observation out so bluntly and truthfully.

"You tried so hard to forget about her, so many years I tried to get inside your heart and just when I thought I was breaking through, you received a wedding invitation from Irene." Soojoo started to trace small circles along the inside of my wrist. "I know I pushed you to go, I know that I pretty much made you face Jennie again but only because I thought what you needed was closure."

I could see the tears that started to form in her eyes and I grabbed her hand, stilling it against my wrist. "Me too."

"Maybe," she sighed and looked away, swallowing hard, "but I think the moment you saw her was the moment you knew that closure wasn't what you needed. She was- is what you need. And I've been being selfish because you make me so happy."

I swallowed just as hard and I felt her shaky hands grab onto mine. Soojoo's known all along how I felt and she still tried to make it work. She was sacrificing her own painful feelings to try and heal mine. I closed my eyes tightly. "I wish it was you I could fall in love with." I whispered and it seemed to have echoed through the living room.

"It's not fair to either of us," Soojoo's eyes welled up with tears and blinked them back, trying to keep them at bay, "you're not happy with me, not like you should be. And I know I shouldn't have to watch you pine over a woman who clearly still holds your heart in the palm of her hand. She's your waterfall Jisoo, she's everything you dream of and everything you fear."

"Soojoo." My voice cracked because I knew what she was doing. "Please…"

"I love you. I love you so much and more than you'll ever know but you don't belong with me." She stood up and paced somewhat while we both tried to catch our breaths from the sobs that we were trying to hold back. "I did the right thing," she nodded, "we've been great together. I know that you care about me deeply and I know you didn't hurt me intentionally," she knelt down in front of me; she was comforting me when she was the one broken inside, "but the heart never forgets Jisoo and your heart will always be with Jennie."