"i can't find my love anywhere without you, so don't be gone too long my dear" i hummed the words to gone 2 long as they blasted through the speaker in my apartment.
it had been a week since nick had been gone. i was a complete mess, i hadn't showered in days and i laid in bed day in and day out. zion came to check on me every single day but i really didn't wanna talk.
i know i was being selfish because they were hurting just like i was and for them to be only checking on me was stupid. but i felt like they didn't feel my pain. no one hurt they way i hurt in my eyes.
i heard a knock at the door but i just payed there. i didn't wanna come in contact with anyone, not in this state. the person knocked again and i groaned. i knew if i didn't open it they would just keep knocking.
i got up from my bed paused the music and made my way to the front door. i quickly swung the door open and rolled my eyes. "what the fuc— micah?" i question and he just stands there looking guilty.
"look i'm sorry i tried to do everything to stop that shit with nick from going down. i did you have to believe me." he cried and i just stand there.
he was joking right?
"you left him there micah.. you left him to fucking die and now you want me to thank you for doing what you could?" i scream and he stares at me.
"i know you're upset but please he didn't mean to hurt nick, he was just supposed to keep him for a few days—" he begins but i cut him off.
"you knew about him being gone the whole time? you knew how scared and broken i was with him being missing and you just keep them information away from me? get the fuck out" i snap.
"kaylani please" he begs but it only makes me Ben more angry. "get the fuck out, whatever this friendship is— it's done. go." i demand and he nods before slowly walking out of my front door.
i slammed the door behind him and fell to the floor crying. how could he lie to me like that? he knew how much nick meant to me and now he's gone because of him. how was i supposed to tell zion?
maybe i shouldn't. maybe i should just get away from all of this. i needed a break or maybe i should just leave permanently. a fresh start wouldn't be so bad.
i didn't wanna leave the guys because i know they needed me as much as i needed them. but after all this was going to clear my mind and possibly heal my broken heart.
i got up from the hard wooden floor and made my way to my bedroom. i grabbed my big purple suitcase and started to pack everything i could fit inside of it.
i showered quickly and made myself look somewhat presentable. i grabbed a pen and notepad and sat at the island in my kitchen. i needed to wire zion before i left.
dear z,
i can't thank you enough for all that you've done for me. although our relationship was hard in the beginning i wouldn't have done it with anyone else. you've stayed up with me countless night, helped me through all my bullshit and was there when i needed a shoulder to cry on. words can't describe how much you mean to me. i'll never forget you. i want you to go on and live your life not worrying about me because i know you're tired. please be safe i love you so much and maybe one day i'll come back to visit you and kelsey. but for now live your life to the fullest.
love, lani
i folded the paper and wiped my cheek. i hadn't even realized i had been crying until i saw a teardrop fall on the island. i was really going to miss him but i know this would be best for all of us.
i left the note on the counter since i knew he would be coming back later to check on me.
i grabbed my suitcase and purse and made my way out the door.
"hey you okay" nick asks me and i nod. "i had the weirdest dream" i tell him and yawn. "about what?" he asks "i don't know, i dated one of your friends and you fought then you passed away, it was weird shit" i laugh and so does he.
"hopefully that never happens" he furrows his eyebrows. i hit his arm and laugh "you know it won't, i love you too much" i say and he pulls me into a kiss.
"alright i gotta get going before alexys comes back" i sigh and he nods and falls back into the bed in his previous position.
i stared at him and shook my head from the crazy thoughts of that dream.
-
sadly guys, i'm done with this book :(
i really hoped you guys enjoyed it!
