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You think you know someone, until shit hits the fan, and you see another side of them you didn't even know were there. Of course, it's not always intentionally. People will react the way they're wired to. It's natural. Sometimes they don't even realize they're reacting until it's too late. But one thing is for sure. Those reactions are real. And under the reactions given for show, the real ones will find a way to slip through.

I sighed and pressed my forehead to the glass. Green grass went on for miles. Alongside the grass were chipped white fences and ponds. I gnawed at my bottom lip again. Then, there was my anxiety, which kept my body from relaxing. What was only supposed to be a ten-minute ride, felt like hours. The tips of my nails dug into my skin, possibly leaving deep marks on my flesh, but I didn't care. The pain was bearable at the adrenaline speed my body was going.

"Hope look out for the meadow. Chrissy said it should be on our right-hand side," Reece said. He never removed his hand from my knee. No matter how tight he gripped the bone, the bouncing wouldn't stop. If anything, my knee fought back involuntarily. That wasn't the only thing fighting back. My patience had already grown a patience of its own. I didn't think my face could get any closer to the window until I pressed harder. Suddenly, I caught sight of two brown horses. I opened my eyes wider to get a better look.

"Hey Reece, I see it!" I shouted. He followed my finger towards the large green field coming into view. As we drove closer, I noticed more horses scattered across the meadow. Reece brought his foot down on the gas pedal, slowing the car.

"Do you see any signs of people?" He stretched his neck to see. His eyes then foraged across the meadow.

"Um, no. I can't really see much but horses," I filled in. Disappointment was pounding in my chest, but I tried my best to push it away. It was too soon to let the disappointment take over. I puffed out my cheeks and released a long breath. 

"Let's get closer, then we'll see," he said. Unstable would be the perfect word to describe my mental state right now. The bizarre range of emotions caused me to feel like I was visualizing a movie in my head. Five seconds was all I had to relax and redeem myself. Five seconds, to think about the next decision I was going to make, before I let the unwanted voices take over in my head. That was something Diana used to tell me when she had heart to heart discussions with me from a young age. At first, I never took her word for it. But I always did it anyway. Whenever I was angry, hurt, excited, it didn't matter to me. I didn't expect anything to come from it, I just thought I'd put her advice to use. Now, was one of those times. I closed my eyes and shut my mouth. 

Then I inhaled once.

Hope, you need to learn to be more positive.

I inhaled again.

If you practice being positive, it might help you relieve some of your stress.

And again.

Turn your negative energy into something positive—a change in the world.

And again.

Take it from someone who has experience.

Then, I finally took my last deep breath.

Go out there and do something.

"We're here! And look what I found. There's a car right there!" Reece announced. Sure enough, there was a dark convertible parked beside the wooden gate, providing entry into the meadow. "Wait, isn't that the car from the videotapes we saw at the bar? She climbed into that car, didn't she?"

His revelation snapped me out of my daze for good. I leaned forward, squinting at the car. Then, it clicked.

"Oh my God, Reece. It is . . . that's the car!" I squealed. I felt my stomach doing somersaults as he pulled over beside the gate. When he stopped, I nearly threw myself out of the car. I made sure to keep her journal tucked securely in my hands. My height towered over the car's rooftop as my eyes scanned the large meadow for two figures. Maybe even one, at this point, I just needed some sort of relief. As long as I saw someone.

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