Chapter 3

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Chapter 3: Toby

Toby's POV

Damn, I thought as I heard Sky's voice. I really didn't want her to find out this way. Why did I have to be attracted to guys too. If I were only attracted to girls the world would be so much easier for me. It really makes me wonder why this happened to me. How would she react? Would she hate me? Would she tell the whole school? Would she turn her back on me? Oh gosh, why didn't Clayton lock the door at least. He had to ruin the night for me by seducing me and Sky walking in and seeing this. Fudge my life I thought.


"I think we need to talk Toby." Mom said as she sat down on my bed. Looking up from my computer I asked her what about?

"Well your cousin told me that you are attracted to boys and just to let you know I did not raise my son to like men." She said looking at me with that hard parenting face.

"Mom, I didn't know about it till now. I thought one of my male friends was attractive. I'm so sorry I let you down."I cried, breaking down into a huge fit of tears and sobs.

"Well, you may think somebody is cute, but it doesn't mean you like guys. Tell me, do you want to sleep or do anything with men"?

"No, I just think they are cute, I don't want to do anything sexual with guys." I lied as my soul started breaking into little pieces due to the fact that my mom didn't like me for who I was.

"See, you're straight. Now don't let me hear any of this nonsense again, okay Toby?"

"Yes, mom." I cried.

It wasn't until later that day I figured that I had to live my life as a lie to my family and how she would never love me if she found out. She would disown me in a heartbeat. "I did not raise my son to like men." That answer alone haunted me for years and I hated liking guys for that. I just wanted to be normal for once, but at the same time I aimed to be different than others. Life just hated me and I would never be able to catch a break.

I don't understand why this is happening to me, but at the same time I need to grow from it. I can make it through life knowing my mom will always hate me secretly as long as she doesn't know. I think I will be able to tell friends one day, but how will they react. Will they react like my mom and will I be forever alone in life with nobody for comfort and to talk to. Why can't god just make me normal, I thought.

Later that day I had a huge argument with my cousin that led up with breaking our relationship apart. We were no longer family or friends. And the next few months of my life weren't easy. Being teased my whole life really takes a toll on you sometimes. I just break down in class and when my friends ask I just tell them that I just really stressed out because not even my best friends know the stuff I keep to myself.

The worst part is going into class and seeing somebody teasing another person, calling them names just hurts me because I know the feeling of that teasing but I just try my best to keep strong. I can't imagine how they would tease me if they actually knew. If they teased me a lot now for dancing, and being short, how much worse would it get if they knew...

It took me three years since sixth grade until ninth grade to get slightly normal and soon everybody forgot about how different I was. It was in tenth grade was one of the most fun years I ever had I felt like a normal person. Now it was eleventh grade, the past was coming back to haunt me and I didn't like that one bit. I can't let anybody know who I truly am. The teasing would be way worse than the teasing it was back then.

Damn, why couldn't I just be normal...


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