Undeserving

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All David could really dress in was a oversized black hoodie and gray sweatpants,which may sound signature but this time he had his hood on. It felt better, like a shield that was protecting him. Plus it blocked some of the bright hospital light out that was irritating his always red eyes that were scanning the numbers on the doors.

Clammy hands tapped along the side of his thigh,barely shaking from the thought of seeing Y/N, suffering because of him. Overthinking isn't usually his forte but then again,neither is being vulnerable. 'I'll say sorry. I'll tell her that I-'

He swallowed his thought and interrupted it prematurely,'Fuck that won't cut it. I can't just-just say sorry,'Davids jaw was clenched for so long,the soreness began to settle perpendicular to his covered ears. Nurses were far too busy to care about the roaming man and David was pleased. He couldn't handle holding a conversation in his state.

He was beginning to lose his way,he was in the large corridor and was searching for Y/Ns room number. After the numbers were getting larger than her number,David realized he made a wrong turn.

'I'm trying to apologize to my ex-fiancé for a car running her over and they decided to put a fucking maze in the hospital,great. Fantastic,'David turned himself around and made a sharp right to the next hallway.

A sharp elbow to Davids chest and long hair in his face made him exclaim and jump back. A little bit annoyed that his hood fell back to uncover his matted hair, he muttered a sorry to the shadow. He moved around the figure and began walking at a faster pace,snapping his hood back to cover his identity.

"David?",Jonathan recognized the dark brown hair but he couldn't recognize the somber look in his eyes. When he met David with Y/N,he was always one word away from a laugh.

I mean that day with a blanket fort was their day. That was the beginning,now he was here to witness the end.

Now this was an entirely different person,I mean he didn't even make eye contact with him.

David clenched his sore jaw again,he wasn't even prepared to see Y/N,let alone her assistant that would surely tell her that he was here. He could still make it out of here,leave and she'd have no clue,no worries. She wouldn't think of him as a burden. Luckily he was still facing away from Jonathan.

Jonathan stared to the dark hooded man who surprised him at first but he knew David would want to know how she was feeling.

"Hey. I know you guys aren't really talking right now but she's okay...and I hope she doesn't mind me saying that she would really like to see you,"Jonathan called out,hoping David could turn around. Maybe they could talk,maybe Jonathan could lead him to the room he was looking for.

After a few tense seconds that felt like an eternity to Jonathan,David's eyes shifted to the floor and his pink lips slipped apart to form a hesitant,quiet  question.

"She would?",David was in disbelief. After everything? She wanted to see him?

"Yeah. She would."
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The eggshell tiles with white walls made David suspect this was a fever dream. That he had walked into some parallel universe and he was going to find himself on the other side. Even the soft oak door Jonathan rapped his knuckles on felt like he was turn into an anomaly that would carry his soul into Y/Ns hands. Maybe she could protect it better than he can.

"Y/N? I brought you something,"Jonathans deep baritone voice echoed into a song.

Y/N sighed as she had her hands quite full,the stabbing pain had begun glowing inside her,making her main focus her excruciating pain.

"I'm pissing in a cup,hold on. The jello here is great but... it goes through you. Like I peed maybe 5 times since you left,"Y/Ns voice made it through beyond the door as she cleaned herself off.

David involuntarily laugh silently at Y/N,he was glad she was still having a sense of humor while being cooped up here. Besides,he wasn't expecting that to be their first words reunited.

"Did you bring me-,"Y/N smiled as she walked out of the bathroom connected to the room. She stopped when she saw David,automatically tightening the string that held her hospital gown together.

"David?"

"Yeah.."

Jonathan's awkwardly bounced with the tension and backed away slowly,"I'm gonna go..get more Jello."

The door clicked shut and so did both Davids and Y/Ns mouths,encouraging silence that spoke nothing to them. David sighed softly at the scratches and bruises that covered her soft skin. Her skin is never meant to have scars, because she's never deserved to get hurt. Each angry red line made Davids Adam's apple bounce as he tried to maintain dry eyes. The lump in his throat getting harder and harder to swallow, Y/N knew she had to break the silence first.

"How-How have you been? Good?"

David let a self deprecating chuckle slip by as the tears in his eyes made it obvious that he wasn't anywhere near good. And with Y/Ns condition,neither was she.

"I'm so fucking sorry,Y/N."

Her lips parted slowly and she gripped her gown closer to her. The sight of his purple eye bags and hair that obviously hadn't been washed in days had broken her.

"You didn't deserve that whole thing. An-And then this..",his voice cracked and the tears welled up in his already red eyes. He motioned at every scar forming,every stitch,every bruise.

"Have you been eating? Sleeping? Why do you look so thin?",Y/N whispered so quietly she didn't even think he could hear. She couldn't mask her concern for his thin frame.

"I can't- I really can't. I can't do anything without you. I love you. I've been fucking myself over for a long time,trying to make sure I possessed you. And then when I got angry for no reason but a stupid one,this happened to you. I love you,I really do."

"I didn't mean to hurt you,David. I made a mistake,"Y/N spoke as David grabbed her hand softly from her side. Her once hurt hand,felt euphoric. There was no pain, yet no relief. Just a mindless purgatory with shocks of awareness with his contact.

"Well I made a stupider one. But I won't do it again. I swear."

Her hand let go of his and for a moment he was terrified, scared that she'd never let him touch her again.

But it went to his neck that housed the lump in his throat, and to his jaw and cheeks. Her hand alone had all the power to make him feel alive again.

"How will you make sure of it?",she somberly strokes Davids cheek, freeing a stray tear that ran lonesome with the others.

"I'll leave. I'll never bother you again. I won't ever speak your name in videos,I won't mention you ever again. Every relationship ends with somebody getting hurt, and I'll take it all. I'll take all the hurt, because you took so much already."

His dark brown eyes punctured hers and he leaned into her touch,wanting her hold on him to feel even realer.

When words failed her, she brought her hand that David leaned on closer to her. His eyes trailing from her eyes to her lips, each centimeter that she brought him to her.

That hand had floated from the side of his face,to the back of his neck. David turned her face softly and  Y/Ns anticipating lips sighed out when he didn't relieve them. His lips fell feather light on her cheek.

With a small intake of breath from her , she didn't feel any pain anymore. Vicodin,Aspirin, Tylenol. She tried everything,but nothing worked as good as he did.

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Schools kicking my ass bro I WANT TO BE APPRECIATED. -Author

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