Tense

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Almost four months is how long Crowley and Aziraphale had been together officially. Things were going well for them except for one thing. Aziraphale had been thinking a lot about taking things to the next step. However, Crowley was always tense when it came to touching. It took them two weeks just to hold hands. Another two weeks to cuddle up on the couch together. Nearly two months for them to share a peck on the lips and now Aziraphale was debating on taking thing just a slight step further.

Crowley was currently sprawled next to him on the couch talking about how he witnessed a man being rude to some lady at the market, so he worked a demonic miracle that flattened all his tires.

Aziraphale leaned in a pressed his lips to the demon's.

As usual the demon tensed under him.

"What was that for, angel?" Crowley frowned when they separated.

"I just love you," Aziraphale blushed.

Crowley smiled fondly but didn't relax.

Aziraphale took the opportunity to lean in again, only this time he parted Crowley's lips with his and slid his tongue in.

Crowley, as if startled, pulled back quickly.

"Is something the matter?" Aziraphale's tone gave way to his worry.

"Uh, I uh..." Crowley fidgeted nervously causing the angel to sit back, giving the demon space.

"Crowley?" Aziraphale frowned, his concern growing.

"It's just...a bit fast...don't you think?" Crowley remained tense.

"Oh." Aziraphale looked disappointed.

"I just...don't want to...uh...you know...ruin things," Crowley hurried out, trying to get rid of the disappointed look on his angel's face.

"We've been together nearly four months, I thought that would be enough time. And I don't see how we could ruin anything," Aziraphale was still frowning.

Panic built up in Crowley, this is exactly what he'd been hoping to avoid.

"You're right, it's just that..." the demon struggled to find an excuse that wouldn't hurt the angel's feelings. "I don't...want you to fall." He finished then. Hoping the angel would buy it.

"Fall?" Aziraphale's frown didn't leave his face, much to Crowley's chagrin.

"If we go too fast, you might...might...fall and-"

"Oh Crowley, that's not going to happen. I would have already," Aziraphale reached out and cupped the demon's face. "Watch."

Crowley swallowed hard as Aziraphale leaned back down and kissed him again, just like before.

Crowley couldn't help but grimace a bit.

"You don't like it," Aziraphale said pulling away. The frown back on his face.

"I'm sorry, angel, but I can't..." Crowley slid away and off the couch.

"Can't what?" Aziraphale asked, a new concern in his tone.

"I love you, so much but...I'm not..." Crowley trailed off unsure of how to say it.

"Attracted to me?" Aziraphale asked, a disappointed look on his face despite him trying to remain neutral. It had been a worry in the back of his mind.

"It's not just you, angel, I'm just not...like that... I don't...feel that way. You know?" Crowley was struggling to find the right words. Words that could erase the hurt on his angel's face.

Aziraphale's disappointment turned to confusion.

"I don't have sexual desires. I love holding your hand and cuddling up with you and letting you run your fingers through my hair while you read to me, but it's just love not...not...lust."

Aziraphale's expression softened.

"Asexual then?"

"What?"

"That's the term. I had friend a few centuries back who was the same way. He didn't care for that kind of thing. No sexual attraction."

"Oh." Crowley couldn't tell if Aziraphale was disappointed or not. But at least he understood.

"Why didn't you just tell me, dear?" Aziraphale stood, taking Crowley's hands in his.

"I was afraid you'd be upset. I love you angel, I swear it, but I just...I can't make myself feel something that I don't."

"I would never ask something of you that you couldn't give, my dear. I love you no matter what."

"But you want it," Crowley dropped his head. He hated not being able to give the angel what he wanted.

"I can take it or leave it. I find it enjoyable, but I'll live without it. Is kissing okay? Regularly I mean. If that's too much we don't have to-"

"No, I don't mind that. It's just the bit with the tongue is all," Crowley grimaced again.

"Very well, then we won't do that again. Please don't ever be afraid to tell me if I do something you don't like. I want you to be happy."

"I am, angel. I just feel like I've let you down."

"You could never," Aziraphale cupped the demon's cheek again and pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead.

Crowley relaxed after that. He allowed Aziraphale to hug him and kiss him without tensing or being afraid Aziraphale would go too far and the angel never did.

(Request for Accio_Crowley, hope it's okay)

*AN*
As someone who is not Asexual I did my best to portray this properly. I know asexuality is different for different people so please don't jump down my throat if you think Asexuals would never kiss or hug. I know of some who do and some who don't. This is just the route I chose for them.
That being said enjoy.😊

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