(CRACKFIC) Mineta x Reader

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THIS IS A CRACKFIC.

I hope you enjoy~

Warning: Grapes and Mineta

Reader POV

The day passed slowly. 

"Ugh. I hate school," you groan.

Aizawa raised an eyebrow. "Shut up, (l/n). You aren't paid to be here. I am. And it's damn sure not enough money to harness you kids."

"Tch," Bakugou behind you spat. "Damn extra teacher,"

Aizawa hopped over in his yellow sleeping bag and you laughed a bit when he tripped on Denki's backpack. "Young Bakugou, detention. And it's with that Present Mic guy." That said, he hopped back to his desk only to trip on Denki's backpack again. "And Denki, move your fucking backpack."

"Huehuehue~" 

That laugh sent shivers up your spine.

"Hey, (l/n)~~~~"

You turned around. "What the fuck do you want?"

Mineta offered you a ball off his hair. "If you want, I can shut him up with my balls."

Your dirty mind thought of the nasty. "No. Go sit the fuck down,"

He obeyed.

Mina leaned over and put a note on your desk. 

You opened it.

That perv is creepy af -mina <3

You wrote on it and it went on like that as Aizawa was reviewing some shitty material that you already learned.

No shit, sherlock (y/n)

Honestly, I have a juicer at home if you wanna...you know ^J^ Mina <3

You met her eyes and devious smirks emerged on your faces.

...

"Huehuehue~" Mineta sat next to you on the bus. "Heeeyyy, there (y/n)~"

Shoto picked him up by his head and tossed him out of the train heading to Kyoto.

You grinned at Shoto. "Thanks,"

He nodded. "I don't think you would want to sit next to him,"

"That's very true."

Mineta POV

I growled. "Huehuehue. You won't live for much longer, prick!"

"Don't even," Shinsou behind me snapped. "You honestly are really stupid,"

"HOW DID YOU HEAR ME??"

He rolled his eyes. "You literally shouted it, dumbass."

By the time I turned around, (y/n) and Todoroki were gone.

"(y/n)! HOW CAN YOU DESERT MY HEART LIKE THIS?!?!?"

Reader POV

"Is he following us?" You asked Shoto.

Shoto nodded.

"Good. Call Mina and tell her to get the juicer ready."

We arrived at Mina's large estate in Kyoto.

She held the door open. "I see him,"

You and Shoto turned around. "He honestly tries too hard,"

Izuku sighed. "I'm not one to say this, but he scares me sometimes,"

Denki nodded. "He's too pervy to be honest."

You slapped him. "You aren't any different!"

"At least I'm attractive!"

Your face flushed. "Somewhat attractive."

Soon, Mineta came crawling through the window.

Just where you estimated.

When his feet touched the ground, he was immediately trapped in the juicer and the cap was placed on it.

"Huehue (y/n)~~~~!"

You cringed. "Die."

"Shitty girl, that's MY line!" Bakugou hissed.

All of you ignored him and turned on the juicer.

Since he was nothing but a grape, the only thing you heard was a squishing sound and painful screams.

"Finally. He's so annoying!"

"Let's make ice-pops with his essence!" Mina smiled.

All of you backed away from her.

Tsu looked horrified. "Ew, what is wrong with you!"

"No, we can feed the ice-pops to the villans and they'll have diarrhea for a long period of time," Mina said. "And so they'll finally leave us alone!"

Shoto spoke up. "Wouldn't that enrage them-"

"Hush, child."

...

Dabi POV

"Toga, what the fuck do you have in your hands?"

Toga held the ice-pop tray to me. "Want one? Kurogiri found a place that was giving out free ice-pops and it's hot as fuck!"

I growled; "Because I'm here, dumbass. Now give me one."

As soon as everyone in the league had eaten the purple ice-pops, we got weird sensations in our stomachs.

"I think I'm going to be sick!" I clutched my stomach and ran to the bathroom and emptied my stomach in the toilet.

...

3rd POV

"Just in! The Villains of the Leauge have eaten this weird purple ice-pop and it has made them very sick, and one of them is fatally ill! Please take caution when consuming purple ice-pops this hot season!"

Aizawa turned off the TV. "Alright, show's over. Roll Call."

He went through the roll-call.

"Mineta?"

No reply.

"Hm...that kid probably forgot to put on his clothes again and went back home," Aizawa mumbled. 

The rest of class 1-A tried not to laugh.

One less prick in the world.

~~~

That was a crackfic and wtf!?

Anyways, hope you enjoyed it.

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