Beautiful [ A Grayson Dolan Story ]

Chapter 37

*Flashback*

(The summer in Australia.)

I was sitting in my hotel bathroom and i had just came back from the beach. I found myself forcing to throw up in the toilet. After the comments I received by a bunch of boys at the beach I felt even more disgusted with myself. I felt that queasy feeling in my stomach and hurdled over the toilet, letting it all out. There was a knock outside the bathroom door.

"Kaitlynn honey, what is going on in there" my mother said outside the door

"Nothing I'm fine" I rested my back on the tub

"Well I noticed that you haven't touched your food, you have to eat" she sounded concerned

"I'm not hungry" I got up and turned on the sink to rinse my mouth

"Kaitlynn I'm worried for you. I've noticed you changing and slowly distancing yourself. I don't know what is going on with you. I just want you to know that we are always here for you, and that we love you" I could hear her voice wobbling

I didn't say any anything, instead I looked at myself in the mirror wanting nothing to do with myself. Just looking at myself is too painful.

"And Happy Birthday sweetie. We are going to do something special for you today. I love you" she sighed before walking off

I looked at the cabinet in the mirror and found my weight loss pills. It says I'm supposed to take one every 24 hours but I feel like it's not working. I opened the lid and poured out three in my hand and swallowed it without water. I closed the cabinet and took one last look in the mirror "everything will be fine" I said to myself

Just then I felt my vision start to blur and the room felt like it was spinning. It was hard keeping myself from falling, I had to support myself on the sink but I just felt so weak. My legs gave away and I felt my head bang on the bathtub, it made a really loud noise.The only sound I could hear was from my mom screaming my name. Then Nothing, everything was pitch black.

*Flashback End*

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"Kaitlynn... Talk to me" I could hear the sadness in Grayson's voice

He went behind the Pillar where I was and stood in front of me. I could see his hazel green eyes very clearly now, but they look different. They look almost broken.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered, cupping my cheek

I looked at him confused and he went on "I did this to you, it was all my fault. If I hadn't hurt you none of this would happen, you were depressed because of me, I was the cause of all your pain and I would do anything to go back and take it away" I saw a tear slid down his cheek

I quickly wiped it away "No, do not blame yourself for what happened to me. This was all my choice, I chose to that to myself."

He took my hand away from his cheek and held it on his chest "you don't understand. I was the reason that you hated yourself when I should have made sure you loved every part yourself. My pride got in the way, and I don't think I could ever live with myself because of that guilt."

"What are you saying" my voice cracked

"I'm saying that you can find someone better than me, someone deserving of your love. Someone who would never hurt you the way I did. Because I don't deserve you, you are way too good for me" at this point we were both balling our eyes out