22. You won't change

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Hlo darlings

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Change is such a deceiving word when it’s used in terms of a person’s habits, his emotions, his mood and his actions. There are people who change so quickly and to an extent that you start feeling, as if you were always wrong and imagining that person to be what he is not, he never was. Contrary to that there are people who do not change at all. Their habits, good or bad, do not change. For anyone else it might be a good trait, not to change and be the way he or she is. But for Anika, it was different.

It took her everything in her not to respond to any of Shivaay Singh Oberoi’s tactics. What she witnessed last night was too much to be ignored. She couldn’t sleep last night send stood by the window overlooking the street. But she didn’t know she would see the beast’s men surrounding her house. The more she was thinking about it, the more she was crying and getting angry and getting hurt. She walked on the tiled floor, towards the beast’s cabin.

He swas sitting in his chair with several plans floating in his head, so that he could find the best plan out of those and implement it to break her silence. He wanted her to shout at him, only if he knew she was actually going to do it, without implementing any of his stupid plans.

Shivaay looked at his watch and then at the laptop screen, wandering why she was late today. He got restless and dialed Khanna’s number. Khanna picked the call in second ring but his “Hello” wasn’t answered as Shivaay stared at the fierce lady standing infront of him. He cut the call and stood up from his chair, advancing towards Anika who was breathing rapidly and her red and puffy eyes framed in long lashes that were still moist from crying.

He strode towards her to grip her shoulders in a tight embrace and ask her what the matter was, but he was met with a push from her and then she stepped towards him and slapped him across his cheek.

“Why are you still behind me ?” She shouted and held his collar in her fist, not bothering about his face that was so close to her, and continued, “Why don’t you leave me alone ? Or the best, kill me ? Why don’t you ?”

“W.. why are you talking like that, Anika ? Did I do something ?” Asked Shivaay, wandering what she was so angry for. He had, afterall, comiitted so many sins. With an intention to calm her he tried to hold her hands but she stopped him showing her palm and then raised her finger at him.

“Dare you touch me with that filthy hand of yours ? I’d rather burn my self than have myself touched by you.” She said, denying the fact that his touch affects her in a different way. When she was working in that bar, so many men used to try to touch her, in an appropriate or an inappropriate way. But this man’s touch didn’t disgust her. It didn’t, when he married her forcefully, or he held her waist, or caught her wrists, or even pinned her to the bed in order to threaten her of doing something worst. She went silent for a moment, lost in the stream of her weird feelings and thoughts. She shook her head and then looked at him with the same ferocity.

“Why did you let me go when you still have a doubt on my character ? Why are you following me like a hound ? Why did you free me and gave me a hope that I will no longer have to fear your clutches ? Why ?” Anika asked and his face lost its colour, his fair skin now looking paler than ever. He already anticipated what the reason of her outburst could be.

“Why did you ask your men to follow me everywhere ? So that you can tell this society that I have so many men running behind me and you can prove me characterless to the world ?” With each word uttered by her, he found it more difficult to speak. He didn’t no how to tell her that she was wrong. He didn’t know how to convince her that his intentions weren’t wrong and that too without telling her the real reason to do this.

She went silent again and then chuckled sarcastically, as if she just realised something. She shook her head and smiled, then laughed and then her eyes started watering and tears flowed down her cheeks and she said in between her cries, “You.. you doubt that I.. I’m still in contact with your father. Yes.. yes.. how could I not get it earlier ? I was a fool. You have appointed them to make sure that I don’t meet your father.”

He looked at her so helplessly, yet in so much anger that he feared he would do something wrong, something he would regret. He wanted to warn her to stop right there, but his voice betrayed him. On one hand it was his helplessness, on the other hand it was his sanity.

“You.. still think that I go and warm your father’s bed and...” Anika became silent as, even before a blink of an eye she was in his cluthes, his hands twisting her wrists behind her back and her upper body pressed to his front.

He had succeeded in making her silent but he was still shivering with rage and she had suddenly become as fragile as a feather in the clutches of an eagle. His nose touching hers and her soft bossom pressed to his manly chest and his breathe almost on her lips, hadn’t he dreamt of this moment so many times since the day he had seen her ? He hadn’t imagined that they would be in this position because of such a terrible reason and he would be in such rage.

Getting scared would get her nowhere, she knew, so she wriggled in his arms and succeeded in atleast loosening his grip, although he was still caging her in his arms. He wanted to clear her misunderstandings, but he didn’t know how to. This feeling of helplessness was unbearable. Despite knowing that you haven’t done anything wrong, you can’t prove it.

She misunderstood him and he had to bear her accusations, see the hatred in her eyes, hear her cursing him. It was his time to be in her shoes. She had also tried to explain herself, to tell him her side of the story and tried to prove her innocence, but he didn’t let her do that. It was his time to experience how it feels to be misunderstood like that.

“What ? Feeling bad ? Because I figured out your intentions ?” Anika asked with sarcasm and his anger disappeared, the helplessness took over his being once again. His lips quivered, in an attempt to speak but nothing came out except her name. She sensed that helplessness, that tenderness in his voice but she let her mind conquer her instincts and chose to believe what her mind said. And her mind was saying he is a bloody beast who wants to chase her but not to catch her. He doesn’t want her to live but he doesn’t want her to die either.

“You want to hurt me, right ? Then do it. But don’t play these nasty games behind my back. I know you won’t change.. you were a beast, you are a beast and you will be a beast. So you try to hurt me, and I’ll try my best to stay away from you and prevent myself from getting hurt.” She challenged him openly, but he was too occupied by his guilt, his helplessness, his anger and his feelings that he didn’t hear what she said after calling him a beast. She regarded him as a beast, a monster, what could be more awful that that ?

She says he can’t change, little did she know that he already did. He changed himself for her. He shed his ego and his stubbornness for her. He broke the wall of of his heart so that she could enter it. He closed it again so that she could stay there forever was altogether a different matter. He fought against himself for her and he was ready to fight against the world for her.

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