The actual end

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Huh.

Didn't I say life is funny?

* * * * * 

July 14, 2019


I open my eyes at the sound of my alarm that is coming from dangerously close to my head, deafening me. I sit up, rub my eyes and search for my phone. Somehow, it ended up under my pillow. I must've fallen asleep with it in my hand. I close the alarm and I am taken to the notes app, where there is an unfinished note I probably started last night before I fell asleep.

Today was a rough day. My tics are back. After a year of silence, it came back. I don't know what t do, I'm panicking. I don't want to go back, not when I am in high school and no one knows about this. I finally have classmates that don't hate me. I don't know why it started again. Maybe it's because I started that book about Tourette? But I only thought

The note ends here.

I let out a high pitched sound. 

It hurts to much to hear it again. In the morning I didn't even remember that it came back, that's how much I am in denial.

Tourette is very much like life. It has ups and downs. During your worst, everything seems grey. Everything is pointless as you struggle to make it to the next day. Then there comes a good part of your life. And you forget how horrible you felt, convinced it's a story of the past and it will never happen again. But it does. Not always. Sometimes. Some of us are luckier than others.

But life is short, and I need to make the most of it. Tourette and all. Every day I try to remind myself about how lucky I am. I have a family that loves me, a few close and true friends, we are not poor, I get to go to all these activities, like dance, singing and acting. And about Tourette, some people have it way worse. I really am lucky.

So why don't I feel like it?

But regardless, I want to bring awareness. I want people to know. Because maybe, just maybe, that will make it easier to understand.

I sit down at my desk, open my laptop and login into Wattpad. Then I type in the new story title:

The Tourette Diaries.



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