She's Back

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My fingers traced the perfectly carved name on my father's gravestone. My tears kept on falling. It's been a month since he passed away. Days went by like a blur but the pain became more and more unbearable. Travis & I were still not talking, though he's giving me comfort when I needed it. I can't blame him though and I'm really thankful that he's still by my side. The cold wind made contact with my skin making me shiver. I can't accept that he's gone, and this time he's never coming back. It's too fast. I just hope I can turn back time and cherish every second we spent with him even more. How could God give him back to us just to take him away again, for good. It's like putting a bandage on my wound just to pull it off again.

I didn't even get to say goodbye. I didn't even get to see him one last time, hold his hand and tell him everything's going to be okay? Why? Why so fast....
Joseph and I were both grieving in two different ways, unlike me, he don't spend his time wallowing instead he focuses on his studies, a little too much I think. Even though he acts okay I know he's hurting too on his own. I just hope he'd somehow open up to me, I tried to approach him for many times but he just keeps shutting me off.

"We have to go ma'am." I looked up at my new bodyguard. I can't even remember his name. I noticed the dark sky sign of a heavy rain. I looked down again and said goodbye and I love you to my dad. It's actually silly, because he no longer will ever hear me.

My bodyguard offered me hand which I thankfully took and helped me back on my feet. He opened the car door and I slipped inside, closing my eyes.
He's so quiet and always have a serious face. His eyes are focused on the road. We drove in silence no one actually even bother to utter a word. I don't like this silence, it makes me wanna cry again. I cleared my throat and talk, " What was your name again? "

"Ma'am? "

"I'm asking your name. "

"Carter ma'am. "

"Oh, please just call me Alice." He just nodded. "How long have I been there? "

"Almost three hours ma'am. "

"Alice. " I corrected. "I'm sorry if I kept you waiting that long."

"It's fine, it's my job ma'-"

"Alice. "

"Right, I'm sorry. "

This guy is so serious, one of these days I'm gonna make him smile. "Do you have a family? "

"Yes ma'am" he cleared his throat, "I mean Alice. "

"That's great! And kids? "

"Yes, two. " He answered.

I nodded my head and smiled. "Hmm, can we please just head to Travis' office? I just.....don't want to go home yet." And I miss him...

He nodded politely. Several minutes had passed and we finally stopped in front of a skyscraper building. "You can go home now, I'll be fine here. "

"Are you sure ma'am? "

I cleared my throat, narrowing my eyes at him. "It's Alice. "

"Ahm yea, sorry. "

"Yes, definitely. Now, go home and spend the rest of the day with your family. "

He inclined and sped off.

I took a deep breath before heading inside, the guards greeted me. I'm still not used to this, not used to people giving me too much attention and respect. It's overwhelming. I went inside the elevator and waited patiently to reach my destination.

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