My World(Jackson Felt)

Sabotage

These past few days have been amazing.  Jackson is so sweet and we always hang together now.

Marie and Payton have been off in their own little world and I occasionally talk to her when we come together for the tour, but honestly, I miss her a lot and I don't know what to do about it because she is so attached to Payton, more than I am to Jackson.

With our pact, things have run so smoothly, and every time I see him with another girl from tour, he smiles and whispers, "it's only you" and goes back to hugging the girl for a picture.

It's a little hard since no one knows about our relationship except for the people on tour but it's been hard hiding it from fans and stuff.

—————

"Are you ok?" Jackson asks.

"Yeah," I pull out of my trance and look at my screen.  Jackson and I had been FaceTiming for five hours now and we both weren't interested in stopping.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask.

I think about lying and telling him it was nothing but honesty is the best policy.

"Marie, and how hard it is to keep it a secret.  Your fans are bound to find out eventually, you know," I say.

"Yeah, but we did that so you wouldn't get hate.  I'm just trying to protect you," he says.

I smile.  "I know, and I love you for that but....maybe we should just tell everyone and we can take the hate together," I sigh.

"If that's what you want, we can do that," I say.

I laugh.  "I feel like I'm destroying the dreams of all your fans across the world,"

"It's ok.  I love them but I like you even more," he says.

I smile and he gets off the FaceTime going to his Instagram so he can go live.

"Hey guys, it's Jackson.  I have some news for you guys actually.  So many of you guys know that there were two new additions to our tour, Marie and Annie and I'm..." he pauses.  "Dating Annie"

My breath catches.  It's never felt so real and plausible.

"Please don't hate her!  She doesn't deserve it and you guys aren't really true fans if you hate on the people I date," he says.

Fan 1: she's on right now

Fan 2: I ship!!!

Hater 1: that's lame. 

And so forth.  Lots of good things and a few really hurtful things, that make me upset so I get off the live and lay down on my bed, and get under the covers.

Tears fall slowly and I beat myself up for being so weak.  Why can't I just take it and smile through it.

You're not good enough.  He's famous and what are you?  A little piece of garbage.  You don't deserve him, and he definitely could do better, a little voice whispers making my tears slide faster down my face.

I don't know how long I had been crying but a knock comes from my door and I get up and answer it.

It's Jackson.  When he sees me, he pulls me into a hug and strokes my hair whispering sweet nothings.

"I saw you get off and I saw all those comments and I'm sorry.  I wish I could get rid of all them.  I wish I wasn't famous," he says.

"You would get rid of your popularity for me?" I ask.

"I would get rid of anything in the way of having you," He says before kissing me soundly.

All thoughts leave my head and all I can do is cling onto him and not let go.

He pulls away.  "You mean the world to me,"

I feel breathless and like I'm floating.

We walk back over to the bed and sit on the edge.

"So, why were you crying?" He asks.

"Am I good enough?" I ask, not answering his question.

"Of course!  You're, in fact, way to good for me.  I don't deserve you," he says.

"But you're famous,"

"A silly blue check doesn't make me better than you," he says.

"Oh," I say.

He squeezes my hand.  "Will you tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind?"

"I just...sometimes there's this voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough and I don't deserve everything I have and it's so hard to not believe it," I cry.

"You deserve everything you have and more.  If I could take all the stars in the sky and rearrange them to spell out everything I loved about you, one, the stars would run out, and two, I'd need more space than just the night sky," he says.

I smile.

"How did I get someone like you?" I ask.

"How did I get someone like you?" He asks.

We fall asleep, on the edge of my bed, smiling and clasping hands.

—————

The next morning, I wake up, and Jackson's not beside me.  That's weird.  I roll over and check my phone. He texted me saying he was getting breakfast and I could join him downstairs anytime.

I take a little bit getting ready trying to look nice since I was a mess last night.

I walk downstairs feeling confident and ready for a good day.

I glance around the cafeteria and can't find him.

Suddenly I spot his hair across the room and I get excited, quickly running over to him.

When I get close enough, I screech to a halt.

He's kissing another girl and it's the same one who got me in the car accident the first time.

They pull away and she gestured to me.

He turns away and looks at me with a deer in headlights expression.

"Annie!  It's not what it looks like, I swear!"

I want to believe him.  He sounds genuine.  Maybe it was a mistake and she's trying to sabotage our relationship.

"But you said you loved me last night after you left her!" She protests and that's all I need to hear.

Tears fall down my face as I storm away, my fists curling up.

"Wait, Annie!  Please!" He screams but I can't hear him.

I keep walking.

"Thought that we were always supposed to listen to each other!"

That's stops me for a moment.  Our pact.

I turn around.  "That was before you made another girl your own," I say, then storm away.

Ooh, tea.  Wonder what will happen.  Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but this chapters a good length!