Guardian Angels ✔

75 - Heart-to-heart

I have never written a full chapter from Jax's perspective so I hope I don't suck at it haha.

. . .

Jax saw that something was bothering Shane. He was never very present, but this time he seemed completely lost in his own little world. The first days he hadn't paid a lot of attention to it, but his eyes kept drifting to the staring glance of the boy. Usually he would have asked the kid's sponsor what was going on, but Chibs wouldn't be around the clubhouse today. For a moment he considered to ask Juice. Still he shook off that thought. He was the club president; he was supposed to be concerned with its members, also when they were not his biggest fans. Maybe it was about time to rise above it, as a leader. The well-being of his men was important, also that of the prospect.

"Shane." With a hand gesture he told the boy to come to him. He had been busy swiping the floor, but Jax had already seen that he'd swept up the same spot four times now. The fingers of the kid tensed around the broomstick when he looked at Jax, his face turning into a straight mask. Nevertheless, he put the broom against the wall and walked over to him. Jax turned around and led him to Chapel. Usually prospects weren't allowed to come in, but it was one of the few places that were soundproof. He might need that.

He sat down at the head of the table and motioned for Shane to sit down on the chair next to him. Shane's eyes went wide. 

"This ain't an official meeting," Jax explained. He respected the traditions, but now and then the formal stuff was annoying him. For once he just wanted to have a frank conversation with the kid. He had never done that and it was actually bothering him. Ever since the prospect had pointed a gun to his head, there had been revulsion when he looked at the boy. Still, he must honestly admit that if he had to pick a prospect to have on his side when the whole world was going to hell, he'd choose Shane. When it came down to it, he knew what to do. It was just difficult to read the guy. At some moments he was a bastion of temperance, at other moments he had a short fuse, challenging everyone's authority. 

Shane pulled back a chair and took a seat. He didn't look nervous, as many boys might have done in his place. The kid studied his face. There was a darkness in his eyes, as if he was preparing to get lectured and was working on his defense. 

"How are you?" Jax asked.

Shane raised his eyebrows. 

Yeah, Jax also heard how stupid it sounded, since he had been spewing on him for weeks. Even now, annoyance flared up because the prospect was just staring him down instead of answering his question.

"Listen kid. I know you and I aren't in the best place right now, but I am the president of this club and I can tell you're distracted. So I got to know why, it's simple as that. At the end of the day I do feel responsible for you, like I feel responsible for all my men. So tell me, what's botherin' you?"

"You really need to ask?" Shane huffed. For a moment anger shimmered in his eyes, or maybe it was something else, like pain, then the prospect bent his head as if he wanted to hide his feelings. He stared at his hands. 

"If I didn't need to ask, I wouldn't have done so."

Shane heaved a deep sigh. He didn't raise his head. For a moment Jax thought that he would flatly ignore him again, then he muttered: "The baby is dead."

"The baby?" Jax repeated, feeling confused. 

"Roosevelt's."

Jax cursed himself for not connecting the dots himself. A few days had passed since they'd come to learn that Rita had survived the attack, but that the child couldn't be saved. "You did everything you could, Shane."