ch 44 part 1

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Ye Jing An can’t tell what he is feeling right now.

If he hadn’t turned on this phone and went on this Weibo, then would he never find this secret?

If he didn’t turn on that phone and discovered the secret on this Weibo, would he and Du Yu Shu be like those other people in the world who fell in love but missed the chance to be together, separate and marry other people?

There are too many regrets in the world and too little satisfaction. Every pair of happiness is a gift bestowed by God.

Ye Jing An tightly held the phone.

So is this god’s last gift to him?

Pink bunny avatar, “My Family’s An An is the Best” ID.

This is a very familiar combination.

Ye Jing An thought of the past events, those drifting memories floated by him. He longed for that girl even more.

Whether it is that weeping girl on the plane that year who smiled beautifully because of a milk candy,

Or that crying girl on the rainy streets who reached out her hands toward him with a confused and relieved expression,

He really longs for her.

He saw himself being locked up in the grocery store by his father for being noisy, immersing himself in crying from exhaustion.

He saw the cowardly and frightened teenager who wasn’t brave enough to say that he liked that bunny and weakly cried after his father killed the bunny.

He saw himself who is already used to hiding, used to disguising himself, used to being indifferent, used to keeping a distance from others. He saw himself, again and again, saying those unreasonable words and again and again feel uncomfortable with it. But he still lied to himself she would understand.

Who would dare trust someone who can’t even express their own sincerity or their true feelings? Who would understand?

If you try to figure it out, it only will only be tiring.

Not to mention, he and Du Yu Shu had been hostile to each other and have never been friendly.

Even the so-called confession seem like child’s play.

He had never once seriously told her he likes her and wants to be with her forever.

He had never clearly and honestly try to win over her or fawn over her, let alone express his love and care.

Why would she trust this type of him?

But in a deep corner, he did not know that she has liked him for as long as he liked her.

In this world, what could be happier than knowing the person you like also like you back?

He carefully his own feelings and used his sarcastic and mocking words to cover it up. When he was sad and dispirited, has he ever wondered how much the other person is hurting?

Why couldn’t he be more honest?

Ye Jing An asked himself, why couldn’t he be more honest about his feelings?

Why must he use mockery and ridicule to express his feelings?

With this type of expression, even if one is a god, would they even fully understand?

Just now, he still quarreled with Du Yu Shu over a trivial matter.

If she doesn’t want to publicize it, then they won’t publicize it. Besides, they are still going to get a marriage certificate anyway, by then they could publicize it whenever they want.

Why must they fuss over who likes who more? Maybe, before you were even aware, she loves you more than you love her.

You love her more than she loves you. It really is a shame to cover it up with insults and ridicule.

Do you really want to count who is more invested in the relationship?

Ye Jing An asked himself over and over. Because it is a lot day and he is running, there is some sweat on his body but he had no time to worry about it.

He wants to find her and apologize for what he did in the past. He wants to tell her he really loves her and wants to spend a lifetime together with her.

Life is so short, they have already wasted so many years. In a blink of an eye, he is almost thirty. He had already wasted more than half of the best years of his life, what other reason is there to continue to waste it?

Pink bunny avatar, “My Family’s An An is the Best” ID.

This pair had accompanied him for so many years, having been with him since the very beginning when he created his Weibo account. This familiar avatar and ID would appear again and again on his blog.

Whether it was when he only had a few dozen fans or when he had tens of millions of fans now, below each of his posts, this familiar avatar and ID would appear in the comment, giving him encouragement and support.

During the time when he would only get a few hundred comments, this ID would always appear at the very top of the comments section.

Commenting over and over–––”An An, you are the best!” “An An, remember to rest!” “An An, I love you!” “An An, you will always be the best!”

Their feeling for each other is the same after all.

He used an alternate sockpuppet account, “Quiet Also Quiet,” from the time when Du Yu Shu debuted and had always been accompanying her. She used an alternate sockpuppet account, “My An An is the Best,” from the time when he debuted and had always been accompanying her.

Why did he pick the name “Quiet Also Quiet?”

“Also Quiet” backward is Ye Jing An.*

T/N: Also Quiet = 安靜也(An Jing Ye) = Ye Jing An backward

“Quiet Also Quiet” is discreet Ye Jing An.

The Ye Jing An who would always silently stay by Du Yu Shu’s side.

The reason for this name is very simple even though he had never been able to do it in real life.

Is that part of him that wants to protect her already gone?

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