The Tattooed Prince 2

99.

Sebastian's Point of View

" You two had sex?" Dr. Oaklen sounded surprised. I hesitated to tell her about what happened between Adalyn and I, however she wouldn't be in her profession if she didn't know how to make me talk.

As my therapist, she isn't suppose to be judging me—she isn't. I am judging myself though and a part of me felt as if she was going to feel disappointed in me. Before I was discharge for the weekend, we talked about the possibility of Adalyn being there. I was suppose to give her and myself closure to our past, instead I made things worse. Isn't that the only thing I do?

"Multiple times...in one night," I quickly added. "I messed up, I know," I looked away from her in disappointment.

She cleared her throat, "I am not upset with you. By how we talked about things, it seemed as if you were ready to accept a life without Adalyn,"

"I am. I told her as much as I am prepared to step down from the throne, there isn't anyone I trust to rule Spain. Esther doesn't want part of the throne and there isn't a way in hell I am letting my cousin's take hold of it,"

"And why is that? Aren't the Royal bloodlines taught to be the best rulers? The Cortez have ruled over Spain for the last eighty-five years, you must trust your own family,"

I chuckled, "nothing is what it seems in the palace. My cousins will destroy our reputation and possibly every alliance we have. I can't let that happen," I responded firmly.

"One day you'll have to step down and how will you stop the next King from destroying what your family built?" She raised a brow.

She was giving me good questions which I had good answers to; her point wasn't for me to inform her what I can do. Dr. Oaklen wanted me to understand I cannot protect Spain after I step down, unfortunately, she is right. One thing I am going to do differently from my parents is be King until I die.

"I want to die before I watch the throne be handed over to the wrong hands. The consequences of that is I live a life of solitude. However, you and I are aware I have been alone all my life. I was born to be Spain's King and nothing more,"

"You are choosing a life of solitude. Have you every thought you weren't born to be Spain's King, but to have Adalyn brought into your life? Maybe life wanted you two to meet to understand there's much more than a crown over your head,"

"Now, you sound like a hopeless romantic, you're navigating away from your profession," I smiled at her. She leaned back on and her chair and sighed, perplex in the dilema therapy couldn't solve.

"My job is for you to understand no one makes decisions for you. You're angry you can't have Adalyn and rule Spain. I am suppose to look for trigger warnings and Adalyn is an entire trigger for you," she said ruthlessly. "How am I suppose to release you when I am positive the moment you walk out those doors you are going to drown yourself in alcohol from how distraught you are?"

Her job is not to believe my words but my actions. I can't argue with her about her worries—she might be right. I don't have any intentions to drink my life away again, yet if it means forgetting Adalyn, I'm capable of anything.

"You trust me enough to go out on the weekends. I didn't drink then, I won't drink now," I simply said.

"Let's put aside the Royal Counsel and your duty to Spain, what do you want? What does your heart want?"

I chuckled, "you know what I want," I responded. "I want Adalyn. I want to be able to have the balls to throw my fucking responsibilities out the door and remarry the girl. I want her to show me the countries she's seen, I want to explore new places, but most of all I want to have the courage she did!"

My heart rapidly beating against my chest as my voice rose with every word. Adalyn did what every Royal wanted to do and no one had the guts to act on. No one doesn't simply walk away from the Royal Family; it isn't that simple. I fought for months with the Royal Counsel to not dare doing anything to her. Even with how angry I was with her, I tried my best for no one to harm her. My parents had to pull out favors from every corner to protect Adalyn. There wasn't enough strings my parents could pull to get me from being banished from Royal history.

"You aren't a puppet on a string, Sebastian. Look in the mirror and recognize who you are. You hold a country in the palm of your hands and you still let others dictate what you should do," she snapped back.

I slumped down on the chair, feeling defeated. Since, I walked in to the care of Dr. Oaklen missing pieces to my puzzle have come together. Today was the first time, I felt hopeless. All my life I have been a puppet on a string and she is asking for me to cut those strings and take control. If I was able to control my life, I doubt I'd be in a rehab center for a drinking problem.

"I am done with the bullshit, but I can't bring Adalyn to the same environment. She deserves more than to be trapped behind stone walls,"

"Fix things back home and stop throwing yourself a pity party. You want Adalyn and rule Spain, then you do something about it. I promise you, the moment she walks out permanently from your life, you'll regret it. At least if you try to have her and she chooses not to be with you, you'll know you tried,"

"You think if I try to stand up for myself and someway manage to have Adalyn, I won't relapse?" I asked her curiously.

Adalyn and I made thing clear before I returned to Madrid. She was going to move on with her life and I was going to finish my treatment plan and fix the mess I left back in the palace. Yes, it stings to know she isn't going to be around. Yet, I understand I cannot force her to be with me. On the other hand, Dr. Oaklen was right, maybe my heart still breaks because I feel as if I am giving up easily. What if I found a way to rule Spain and give Adalyn the freedom she desires? Could it be possible for Adalyn to want to return?

"I don't want to drown myself in alcohol, that Sebastian is dead. I want to be able to fix the things I messed up. There's too much at risk for be to dare tasting a drop of alcohol. You have to trust me. I can continue seeing you until you feel like I am ready to be on my own,"

"I know you are ready to be on your own, all I need you to do is believe it,"

✨✨✨

Will Sebastian be able to take control of his life?