My siblings and I got in the small white Escalade with Uncle Jason, me in the shotgun and Alecia and Adrian in the back. “Hey Uncle Jase! What’s up?” He looks at me laughing and I look at him confused. “Why the heck are you laughing?”
He laughed even harder than he did before. Now he sounded like a dying possum that was on a sugar high. “Do you know what you’re holding?”
I look down at my hand and Adrian does too. I turn red like my cherry lip balm while Adrian starts laughing like Jason did. “You two are really sick bastards! Mom only gave this to us as a precaution.”
Alecia turned to us and asked, “What did mom give you?”
We all stiffen at the thought of having “the talk” with her at only the age of 14. I REALLY didn’t want to be the one to explain the whole process of making love and the reproductive system. I would kill myself if I have to show her how to put a condom on a guy by using a banana. How much more embarrassing can it get than that? I don’t even know how our mom was able to tell me and Adrian the other night.
“What did mom give you Angel?” she repeated, stressing each syllable. I could feel the sweat starting to bead on my forehead. Crap! I really don’t want to! I shoot a look at Adrian and he turns away. Traitor! I turn to Uncle Jason and look into his silver eyes. He flicks his dark brown head around, just like Adrian. Those bastards! “Just tell me already!” Alecia shouted, obviously really frustrated.
I turn to her slowly, feeling nervous about how to approach this. “Um…mommy gave…uh…these thingys to…um prevent us from performing the progress of fertilizing 23 chromosomes only…only created during a female’s fertile time period…and um”, I paused. I don’t think I can continue anymore! Help me! Anyone! “So as I was saying…these 23 chromosomes come together with another 23 and form a zygote?” I don’t remember biology damn it! I took it like last year! “So yeah the egg is actually fertilized while a man and a woman are having s—“
“Well let’s get going! We still need to pick up some groceries in order to make some dinner.” Jason interrupted. Saved by the dumb-butt. I looked at Jason and shoot him a dirty look. He turns on the car and pretends that I didn’t just glare at him. “What do you want for dinner kiddies?”
We all say at the same time, “Spinach ravioli with cheese!”
“Alright! Let’s go!” Jason says, then steps on the pedal hard.
“Ah!” Alecia squeaked. I looked back in time to see her head forward to the floor. Her butt and legs were sticking up in Adrian’s face. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“HAHAHAHAHA! Losers! HAHAHAHA!” I giggled while holding my stomach and pointing my finger back at them. “HAHA--” and then came a “toot”. I stopped laughing and immediately turned red. Now they erupted into rounds of hysterics.
“Haha! For an angel, you can sure make some noises that sound really unholy.” Adrian mocked.
“And make some smells that don’t smell very pretty.” Jason said as he took one hand off the wheel and pinched his nose to block the stench of my fart.
“Oh yeah? Well, have another!” I say then let another one rip. TOOT!
“Oh good lord Angel! That smells revolting! Stop it!” they whined. I just start snickering and turn on the CD player. I opened Jason’s music section and pull out a CD and pop it in. “Love” by Nat King Cole started playing and we all started singing along. Uncle got a little too excited and started swaying his arms to the music.
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Let's Hop Like Bunnies ;DHumor
15 year old Angel Crysthalma and his siblings need to get away from the house full of "inappropriate" noises. They get permission to go to their Uncle Jason's house after Angel and his twin Adrian embarrass the panties off their mommy. When they sta...