Demon in the mirror.

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I spent the hours in front of the mirror in my room, staring at every part of my body but not in its entirety. I focused on some parts, the ones I hated most about me. I hated my legs and my belly; everyone told me how thin I was, yet it is not true, I think they were cowards and liars, I saw a monster, a strange creature. The only thing I perceived was a girl with long brown hair, light brown and big eyes and pretty lips; I didn't hate my face very much, I found it decent; moving the attention to my body the real problems began: I saw only fat, everywhere. The more I looked at myself, the more I hated myself, I wanted to get a tire and cancel my figure in full; I didn't even want to replace it with other women, I didn't want to exist, I didn't ask for anything else. In my room time seemed to stop, I didn't perceive noises, smells or other senses, I was too concentrated to understand what was wrong and how to correct mistakes, almost as if I were a faulty object. My room had turned into a greenhouse: you'll wonder why this comparison ... into greenhouses grow plants right? What was in my room, but no plants were growing, hate grew, hate towards myself. When I looked away from me I began to hear life outside my room, I heard my brother listening to music cheerfully, I heard my father and mother at the table, they were having a snack, I heard them discussing about me and my condition. I then decided to open the windows and breathe the air for a moment, for me it was not just air: I was breathing life, the real one. I closed my eyes and felt I lived, people strolled and laughed, I heard the dogs barking and the children running by bicycle. A slight smile appeared on my lips; I immediately opened my eyes and everything vanished, I closed the window. I thought: "who am I?" "What am I doing to myself?" "I love or hate myself?" Questions without any answers. My cold face was moistened with warm tears, I felt a sensation of weight on my chest, as if I could not breathe: in reality only one thing I felt ... the weight of myself. I wanted to get rid of the monster that was consuming me to the bone. Why are you afraid of demons if most of the time they are inside us?

To be continued...
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