Red Polka Dots (4)

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It was tonight...

I bit down on my lower lip, feeling it tear a bit, as my mother rushed to get my dark hair perfect, making sure no strands were going astray and that my waves were cascading down my back in the most perfect way possible.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror in front of me, my skin ghostly pale as my mom finally finished with her work, placing a red polka dot bow on my hair to finish off my look. Wearing the dress I had gotten, I looked ready.. Perfect even for the event.

But in reality, my heart was far from ready.

"There. You look beautiful..."

Though I knew the words were meant to calm my nerves, I only found myself growing even more nervous. How could I not when it was finally happening?

The day of The Pairing.

My eyes stinged with tears, threatening to let them fall at any moment all because of my own pathetic fears. I felt so disgusted with myself at that moment, knowing how weak I was. How I couldn't even handle as something as simple as this.

Wasn't this just some sort of game to pass the time? Why was I crying about it?

My mother's face fell, her smile instantly dropping at the pathetic sight that was me. She went to wrap  her arms around me and I couldn't help but hug back with all I had, desperate for any sort of comfort... reassurance that at the end of the week, it was all going to be fine.

Everything would just go back to the way they are now...

"Shh.." She cooed, patting my hair down as I struggled to keep the tears from falling. "You can do this, Destiny. I know you can."

I immediately shook my head in response, knowing that I couldn't. Not when I know that the man that I'd be paired with would only pretend I didn't exist throughout the whole week. Why would anyone even care about me?

I was nothing but the mute freak.

She sighed, pulling back to meet my wide eyes that were so full of fright, showing her every emotion I was feeling that I could, wanting her to understand that this was too much for me to handle.

"Destiny, I... I want nothing more than for you to be happy and I know that this event isn't making you happy at all. But there's nothing you can do but to face it head on and I know you can. You're strong, beautiful, and an amazing person. And if your partner thinks differently, then he's wrong."

I blinked furiously, peering up at my mother's honest features. 

"So... just smile and maybe..." She tucked a stray hair behind my ear, a small smile tilting her lips. A smile full of comfort that only she could give to me.

"Just maybe, something nice will happen."

If only I knew then...

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I never fitted in whenever it came to parties. No matter how formal or how wild the party was, I was always on edge, finding myself hiding in the corner of the room, wanting nothing but to just leave.

It wasn't because of the noise, or the fact that I couldn't talk to everyone else. It was because of the fact that no one cared that I was there, ignoring me like everyone always does.

It wasn't that I hated it, the fact that I was always invisible,but sometimes, I couldn't help but to long for someone, anyone to actually try to talk to me on their own free will and not judge me for my disability.

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