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If you cheated in your relationship, this book could be the best gift you've ever given yourself...and your hurting partner. Infidelity doesn't have to mean the end of your relationship, if you can learn to understand why you cheated in the first place and how to keep it from happening again. Using the affair recovery strategy offered in "I Cheated", you and your partner can move from trauma to empathy, recovering the friendship and passion that brought you together in the first place. Clinical Psychologist and Affair Recovery Specialist, Dr. Savannah Ellis looks at the myths of infidelity and the mistakes couples make post-affair, then provides exercises and templates so that you and your partner can become proactive in understanding and rebooting your relationship. The help offered to struggling couples in this book is based on the author's two decades of experience researching infidelity and counseling thousands of couples, feedback from couples coaches she has trained, the latest scientific findings in neurobiology, and research from other leaders in the field of infidelity and affair recovery. If you have cheated on your spouse or have thought about it, you need to read this book first. Expanded Contents: CONTENTS PREFACE INTRODUCTION Housekeeping RECOVERY MYTHS AND MISTAKES Myths Mistakes The 20 Most Common Mistakes: CLASSIFYING YOUR AFFAIR TYPE Type 1: Accidental Affair Type 2: Avoidance Affair Type Type 3: Philanderer Affair Type 4: Entitlement Affair Type 5: Split Self Affair Type 6: Exit Affair Type 7: Sexual Addiction Affair Emotional affairs Financial Infidelity Affair Type Quiz Relationship Recovery Advice The Conflict Avoidance Affair The Intimacy Avoidance Affair The Sexual Addiction Affair The Split-Self Affair The Exit Affair The Entitlement Affair The Philanderer The Accidental Affair UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER Stages Of Recovery From The Trauma Of Infidelity How To Get Closer To Your Partner Handling Your Partner's Rejection My Partner Handling Your Partner's Anger UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF Attachment Styles How do you connect? The Secure Connector The Anxious Connector The Avoidant The Fearful Connector My Attachment Style Common Coping Styles and Patterns Coping Style Love or Addiction Friendship THE APOLOGY Part A Taking Responsibility For Your Actions Explain The 'Whys' Be honest. Partners May Ask For Details The Apology Letter Elements To An Apology Letter Part B RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION Rules For Fair Fighting Action: How to Handle Conflict Effectively Communication Patterns Between Couples REBOOTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP The Love Bank Love Busters Questionnaire Emotional Needs Ranking of Your Emotional Needs Action: SEX AND INTIMACY Types of Intimacy Rebooting Your Sex Life - Choose a Plan PLAN A - You Do Not Want Sex PLAN B - For Couples Desiring Sex Foreplay Map Exercises Intimacy Tips Sex Addiction? RESTORING TRUST The Five Forms Of Trust In A Relationship Creating Transparency Building Transparency Through Confessions RENEW YOUR RELATIONSHIP CONTRACT Preparing to Write Your Relationship Contract Sample Contract Guide PREVENTION Seven Facts You Need To Know About Infidelity What You Need To Know About Love Seven Tips for Preventing Infidelity Commitment How to Stay Committed in Your Relationship CONCLUSION What Makes a Great Relationship? APPENDIX Protecting Your Children from the Fallout RESOURCES Infidelity, Addiction, and the Internet Love and Intimacy Sex Divorce Understanding Yourself Web Sites Support Groups References ABOUT THE AUTHOR


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