All the beautiful lies (Y/N and Kendall Jenner)

Chapter 11

Y/N Pov

I went to the bathroom and started using my juul and just sat there thinking about everything that happened these last few days and I started to cry and my face got all puffy and my eyes were red I just washed it and went outside and Kendall started staring at me for some reason god I hope she didn't realize I was crying. I took off my shirt and me being the skinny legend I am Bella kissed me and went back to sleeping on the couch and I stared at my arm looking at all the cuts I've had from the past and regretting all of them. I went outside and I took out my joint and started smoking it since I still had a bit left of it which is enough to get me buzzed (yes irl I'm a smoker leave me alone) then Kendall came out and well this happened

"Why is your nose all red and ur eyes so puffy" Kendall said. Okay yeah I probs got it the wrong way

"I don't know it doesn't seem puffy to me" and I just sat down on the grass and laid back

"You know it's obvious to me you were crying" she said and took my arm and showed me the old cuts "also what's this?" She said freaking out

"Uhh it's nothing it's from skateboarding and I wasn't crying what do you mean I'm probably just buzzed"

"It's obvious you don't have to lie you know" she said while she sat down next to me

"Look id rather keep it like this no talking and just leave it I'm just trying to get some fresh air" I huffed damn I'm mean

"Okay Jesus I didn't mean to disturb you" she said while standing up. I pushed her down

"Okay sorry I'm just not feeling well these days but we all have those days don't we?"

"Yeah that's true but tell me what bothering you"

"This everything my whole life just fucking changed and I have no idea why I'm legit stuck in a fucking roller coaster meeting so many new people and being friends with Hailey and having bella fucking hadid as my fucking girlfriend" I spat out

"Wait you and Bella are dating now?"

"Yeah she asked me out but I don't know if I'm ready for it honestly"

"Look don't rush yourself into things if u want we can go on a car ride those always help me"

we went and had our car ride and I was trying to make her jealous so I started talking about Bella a bit wayy too much and then she just stopped me by kissing me and I pushed her off

"Okay what the fuck just happened"

"I'm sorry you were just talking way too much and I had no idea how to stop it honestly"

"You could've just told me to shu-" and me phone starts to ring "it's Bella I gotta take this" I said

"Hey baby" "oh me and Kendall didn't wanna sleep so we went on a car ride" "no it's fine baby look trust me" "okay babe" "Okay baby I'll pick you up" "see you later princess"

"Uhh fuck are you gonna tell her????" She said stressed out

"How about we tell her together?" I said

"Uhhh I don't know"

We drove back and went back inside to haileys house

"Hey baby" she said and kissed me. I was shaking I did not know what to do fucking anxiety

"Heyy how was ur sleep?" I asked

"Uhh it was good" she seemed nervous

"What's wrong" I asked

"Abel called" she said

"Umm okay so what happened" I'm the type to get jealous fuck

"He wants to get back with me"

"Fuck okay listen I understand that I really do and if you wanna go for him again then that's fine I'm not holding you back"

"Are you sure?" She asked

"Yes I am. It's been a few hours we still haven't developed feelings"

"Yes that's true" she said as she walked back inside and Kendall stared at me

"So were not telling her"

"I just need time to think" I said

"I get that"