IV - Kiss

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I stared at Ginny, it seems lifetimes ago that we kissed for the first time in the Gryffindor common room. Unlike before, the memory didn't ignite any feelings of desire or longing. Remembering my past life for that is what I considered my life before master shot the killing curse at me for the second time and I woke up in the stark white replica of the king's cross station; it felt like watching a show-reel from an outsider's perspective for that life didn't feel like mine, I felt myself merely being a spectator in my own memories.

"Harry, I know it must be hard for you" Ginevra suddenly started after an indefinite amount of time staring at each other.

I merely blinked at her

Not to be easily discouraged she continued " you're not alone in this, I promise. We're all with you but please you can't shut us all away, I know you know; about the Horcrux, Ron and Hermione told me. They told me you need time to overcome your grief, to mourn and to leave you alone but they don't know what it's like to have HIM in your head, I do and I don't want to leave you alone to deal with this."

The way she looked at me like she understood my pain and suffering disgusted me upto my ripped and teared up soul.

Her eyes that clearly displayed her pity made me want to gouge them out.

For the first time in eighteen years I understood what true hate, rage and disgust was and all directed towards the red-headed girl gazing at me with her muddy brown eyes.

"You look so gaunt and thin Harry, you need to eat more. Come to the burrow with me, we can take care of you." Oblivious to my thoughts she continued to talk to me and the more words that spilled from her disgusting mouth, the more my hatred grew until it was like a raging thrashing inferno begging and fighting to get out and destroy everything in its wake.

"I've missed you so much. Why won't you talk to me? I love you Harry, Don't you love me?" Soemthing in my expression or perhaps my eyes seemed to encourage her as she came closer, sitting directly beside me before continuing her tirade "I understand you know, I know how manipulative he can be, how having a piece of his soul could make you feel. I had the diary that you rescued me from, in your second year, remember? You're not alone, I felt it too but trust me, you're better off without it. Don't you see how wonderful and light it already feels despite the destruction of war all around us without the taint of his soul?"

My body tensed and fingers clenched in an effort to control my boiling temper but I was also thankful since that faithful day I killed my master this was the first time I truly felt something other than longing and suffering.

I felt alive in a way I haven't since the final battle.

This seemed to encourage her further and she looked hopeful, she put her hands on top of mine resting on the kitchen table. My skin felt like it was on fire where she kept touching my hands.

"You're not alone Harry" she repeated herself "it's better now that he's gone. I'm so glad and you should be too. I know it feels like a part of you is gone but it's just your mind playing tricks on you, I've been reading some muggle books on mental illnesses since Hermione mentioned you must be suffering from PTSD. We can look for a mind healer now that we're free and we can be happy together again. Don't you want a future together? Go into auror training like your father and Sirius? Get married? Have children? We can do all that Harry. We can be a family and whole together again." She smiled that disgusting saccharine sweet and relieved smile at me while caressing my hands with fingers of fire.

The word "whole" did it for me and unable to keep quiet anymore I wrenched my hands from her surprisingly strong grip and stood up to give her a piece of my mind.

"Oh, so you what it feels to have your soul wrenched from your body? You know the pain of having your horcrux stolen and destroyed from it's safe space? You know how it feels to have your soul ripped in two? You know the agony of living with half your soul? You know the emptiness? You know the longing? You know the endless pain that you're cursed to live with for the rest of your hollow existence?" I shouted at her.

"You know absolutely nothing" I whispered.

She reached out for me again but stopped when I recoiled.

My soul was ripped to shreds, disgusting and dirty inside me,twisted with loneliness despair, desperation and pain accompanied with the feeling of forever being empty and hollow with no reprive.

Why? Why did I have to suffer this injustice? Why did I not deserve to feel whole? Why did I have to be the one making sacrifices and all for people like her.

Watching her sitting there looking all hopeful and whole made my blood boil and made me want to rip her soul to shreds, I wanted her to feel my pain. She didn't deserve to feel whole, she didn't deserve her magic, she didn't deserve her soul and my broken soul called for justice, cried out for some relief.

Something sinister reared it's head in me as the red-head looked at me with pain, confusion, anger and longing. It made me feel empowered in a way I have never felt before.

Instinctively I opened my mouth and forced her own to open with unrelenting fingers all the while keeping direct eye-contact.

Ginny shivered and full body goosebumps rose across every visible inch of her skin.

I was doing it and I reveled in the feeling. I was calling out her soul from her body like a dementor would and was doing it without a single iota of pity for her worthless existence. I had no idea where, when and how I possibly learnt to do it since only a dementor could suck out someone's soul but I didn't care.

She looked horrified. I don't know it was because she realized what I was doing or because her worst memories were playing in her mind but the more scared and terrified she became, the more giddy and euphoric I started feeling. I only felt a fraction of what a dementor feels, they slowly tease out and feed on the good memories leaving their unfortunate victims drowning in their misery, sorrow and regrets. Then they pull out their vulnerable souls.

I didn’t know how long it took me to tease out her soul, but I was patient. I instinctively sent my magic out so that it gathered Ginny's soul and nudged it up and out of her mouth. I couldn’t help but marvel at my success and feel incredibly proud when a glowing white orb floated just past Ginevra's lips. I just took a moment to observe the pure-looking soul hovering between my mouth and hers.

Then I opened my mouth and swallowed.

An exceptional kiss I would humourously think to myself later but right now I had a body to hide and a possible murder to cover up.
_ _ _ _ _

Here's chapter 4 finally. Honestly I kind of forgot about this story for a while but suddenly inspiration hit and this chapter was written and edited in one sitting so please feel free to point out any typos or errors. And as I always say votes and feedback are always appreciated.

Until next time,
All the love xxx

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