Cigarettes [Bennoda] ✔

Chapter 79

Mike's POV
A few months passed, and Chester did anything but try and quit the drugs. It was making me downright angry with him. I kept finding little baggies of various drugs in his pockets and around the house. I found different kinds of pills, more coke, and even found a few syringes. He was gone half the fucking time doing God knows what while I was home taking care of our daughter. We hardly talked anymore. I felt like we weren't even married anymore.

I hit my breaking point when I walked in on him doing a line of coke in the same room as our daughter. I couldn't fucking believe him.

"Chester, I can't fucking do this anymore." I said to him. He looked up at me and wiped his nose on his jacket sleeve. "Calm down, Mike. Shit." He mumbled.

"You're gone getting fucked up half the time, while I'm here with Max! You said you'd stop with the drugs, but I've been finding more in your clothes, and now I see you do this! Right in front of our daughter. She's just six months, but she doesn't need to see that shit! I'm not raising my child like this. She needs two parents that are stable and here for her. Not a stable parent, and one that is constantly high off his ass on coke!" I said.

"Mike, you don't fucking understand what I'm going through!" He yelled back as he stood up. "You're right, Ches. I never understand what you're going through because you constantly push me away! How am I supposed to understand, when you're not even giving me a chance!?" I asked. He sighed and shook his head. He started to walk away.

"No. We're talking about this. You're not leaving in the middle of this." I said. He kept walking. He was almost out the door and then I spoke again. "Chester, if you walk out that door, you're not coming back." I said. He stopped, thought for a second and turned around.

"I want to give our daughter the best life and I don't want you to waste away yours. You need to stop. If you won't stop, for us and yourself, then I'm sorry, but we can't be together. I'm serious, Ches. I'm not dealing with this anymore. If you'll promise me you'll quit, then I'll help you and be there with you through that process, but if you just keep on pushing me away and doing the drugs, we're done." I said. He just kept looking at me.

"I love you so much. So fucking much, and I hate to see you doing this to yourself. You're 24. Only almost a quarter of the way through life, and have so much potential and love to give. You can't do that if you destroy your body anymore." I said.

He just stood there. I wasn't even sure if he was listening to me because he was showing no emotion whatsoever. This was not the boy I fell in love with. This was truly a changed man, and I wasn't sure if I wanted him to just walk out or not. It was quiet for about a minute and then he turned and started walking out the door.

"Chester, please stop. Please. You know you don't want your life to be this way. I know you wanna see Max grow. God, you missed her crawl for the first time last month because you were doing this dumb shit. She can pull herself up on things now. Did you know that? No you fucking didn't because you're never fucking around! Do you really wanna miss more of her life?!" I asked, following him out the door. It was raining and we were both soaked walking to the driveway. He opened his car door and I pulled him away from it. He turned around and full force shoved me back. I stumbled back a few feet.

"Fuck off, Mike. You know what? Have you ever thought that you're part of the reason why I do the shit I do?" He said. I was stunned. "What? I haven't done shit to you. I've tried to be nothing but supportive during this time!" I said. "I told you that I didn't want you fucking touching me. It freaks me out now, and you still do it. It drives me insane!" He said. "You're my husband! Am I not supposed to show love and affection to you?!" I asked. "When I say it's okay, then yeah, but... God you don't understand how much it freaks me out even when you hold my hand. All I can think of is that guy in the alley." "Okay. Then I'll stop touching you. Fuck I'll sleep in another room if that helps." I said. He shook his head.