After speaking to Lindy at the airport, I walked away once she said what she said about Logan possibly idolising what i had with her. I was upset. But she was 100% right. Logan has been living at my house on weekends for the past month, which I'm shocked he was okay with. To him, I'm basically a complete stranger. I've been in his life for a month. I tell him stories about my life and in exchange he tells me the school gossip. He's so open in getting to know me. We've been bonding so well and I'm building a stronger relationship with my son.
I just wish, I really fucking wish, that Lindy was still mine. But she isn't. Isaac and my sister have been constantly reminding me that I need to move on, but I can't nor do I want to. At the hospital, Isaac was saying how I should give up. But, I've been told that my father once said that Kings never give up.
I'm a King. I am Cameron Wesley John King. And I'm not giving up on my queen. Although, Nate has made this whole situation harder by proposing to the damn woman and making their relationship officially exclusive. It's understandable - who wouldn't want to wife her up?
I'm not certain at all on how I could reconcile completely with Lindy, after eight years of nothing and being her first heartbreak. Because well, your first heartbreak is something that you move on from, but can never get over. Does that make sense?
I will always regret what I did to her.
Cheating is so wrong.
God, eight years. What the hell is wrong with me?
I don't think she could ever forgive me, and I don't expect her to. But I want her to be capable of loving me again. I'm a changed man and I want to try. Call me a homewrecker, but I'm going to use Hawaii as an opportunity to work my way in. I'll have lunch with her or something. Have a heart to heart.
Oh my god. I'm getting in between her engagement.
That's pretty fucked up.
Now I don't know what to do, again.
This is bad on so many levels. I curse to myself, pacing back and forth. I'm literally walking in circles in this airport, I need to go back to the lounge! I look at the watch on my wrist and the time is 2:34AM. I've been gone for almost an hour! I start running back to the lounge as boarding opens in eleven minutes. I make it back in five.
"Where the hell have you been?" Isaac booms, and squeezes me in a bear hug.
"I wanted a burger?" I say, more like a question, and Logan looks back. He shouts "you're back,"and runs over.
"Hey man," I smiled. "Wanna sit with me?"
"Obviously. I was going to ask you that first, but you didn't come back." He replied.
"Sorry dude. Let's just get on, shall we," I tell him, and he nods with a world winning smile. That's my boy.
Lindy looked back at me as the attendants verified her ticket. I looked down, and went forward with Logan.
We all got on the plane and the seats were pretty scattered apart. I was all the way at the back and I know I'm seated next to two from the group, though I'm not sure who. But Logan is sitting with me, so that just leaves someone else. I sat down with him and buckled us both up. "Maybe Ellie will sit here too?" Logan wondered.
"I guess we'll see, huh?"
As we waited for everyone else to board, I sent my sister a text.
I really need to talk to you.