Cabin Fever - An Erotic Novel

Chapter 38 - Shadow of a man (FINAL EDIT)

After we were done making love, I carried Lizzie's sleeping body downstairs and put her to bed. I didn't want to leave her sleeping on the living room floor – no telling what could happen next.

Lizzie, dear Lizzie. Light as a feather. Cute as a button. Sexy as hell. I kissed her tenderly and bade her sleep well. There was no reply.

I double-checked Harry and India's rooms, but still no sign. I would have to go look for them.

I looked out a window. It was dark outside, well into the evening, maybe around six o'clock, but not too dark to do a search. Starlight upon the snow, a hint of moonlight also.

I was about to put on a coat, when I remembered the upstairs master – or in Bella's case, mistress – suite. I went back up again, on the off chance they had snuck up there and fallen asleep. Or been eaten by a werewolf.

Ascending the final flight of stairs, I was again overcome by a wave of weariness. Every step was agony, every breath a struggle. What was the point? Why did I fight it? There would be no happy ending for me. Bella was gone, Greg also. Abbie was home, back in the City, oblivious to what was going on up here.

It was just these seven youngsters and me. Even if the darkness didn't take us all? What then?

I'd never get Abbie. Not in the way I wanted her. As my friend and lover both. Just the two of us, no one else, forever. That ship sailed years ago. I was forever friend-zoned. If I was lucky. More likely, she'd figure me out one day and never speak to me again. I just had to accept that.

Play boyfriend and girlfriend with Lizzie then?

It would be nice, I was sure. Very nice. Best time of my life. For her too. For a while. But ultimately futile. A year. Two years. Five? Impossible to say. But we would grow bored with life and one another, yet too attached to make a clean break.

Maybe we'd compensate. Get a kid or two. Marry. A grand, hollow ceremony, tons of guests we hardly knew. Settle in a dreary neighborhood, have a single boring car between us, become wage slaves.

Kids. Me? Hell no!

I knew some kids. Had a couple of friends with kids. Only they were more like ex-friends now. Those little brats sucked the life right out of them and kept on sucking. Working parents with kids. The real-world version of the walking dead.

Not happening.

Then we'd break up, the kids would have issues and need therapy. One would do drugs, the other go through teenage pregnancy.

We'd both be broke and miserable, and wonder why the hell we wasted our best years on one another.

Then I could do like my sister, get another partner, and on the off chance it might actually be better the second time around, make all the same mistakes, all over again. Lovely!

Why not simply end it here, at the cabin? Go out into the night, and let the snow embrace me. It would not be such a bad death, or so I had heard.

I could carry the others outside too. Spare them the agony their miserable little lives would inevitably inflict upon them.

It would be the humane thing to do.

Finally, I managed to mount the last step. Never had anything been so hard to do. I had this idea that I must someday climb Everest without oxygen, just to see if actually was more challenging than reaching the top of these stairs.

I more stumbled than walked along the mezzanine and into Bella's boudoir. Everything was as neat and tidy as before. No Harry, no Indiana. Just me.