chapter 7

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I will not cry, I will not cry.

For the first time, you didn't. You weren't even angry that he told Alya, Nino, Nathaniel, perhaps the whole class except for you. You weren't angry at all.

In fact, you are very disappointed.

You wanted to cuss out loud, just scream swears to the clouds.

Why would he do this to you?

Why can't he bring himself to trust you, to tell you a simple secret?

Well apparently it's not a secret anymore. Anyone knew except for you. God, you hated yourself more and more.

You were in the living room, hogging the huge space for yourself while your parents aren't home. You decided to just think. here with your silence as company.

You sighed and leaned your head on the armrest. "I was there for him." You muttered to the air. Maybe you were talking to yourself, but you do not have the strength to listen. You were just tired. "I was there for him this whole time he had a problem with Marinette."

Memories resurfaced in your mind. Your comforts, whether it be words or actions, just you cheering him up. "Why did he spare me the truth? Was I not a good friend?"

You know it wasn't true. You told yourself that doubting was unnecessary and troublesome and you should not do it, and yet here you are doing the exact opposite of your sermon.

You sighed as you closed your eyes. It did not matter.

But why does it still hurt?

"Is it because I... still like him?"

Your hands flew to your eyes, your form curling. You grumbled loudly-- actually, you wanted to scream. Just scream and hopefully tear your throat apart. You did not understand. You did not get it. You wanted to blame yourself for everything.

A soft ring resounded through your living room.You retrieved your phone from your bag, unlocking it with ease. With your hands lifting it, using your thumb, you used it to press the message your phone had received. 

Alya:
i missed you

You smiled slightly. You had to thank Alya for knowing exactly how to make you smile. 

You:
aww i missed you too. all of youuu guys

i have to tell you something.

You cannot help it. It needed to be said and let out of you. You cannot keep this from her forever. 

Alya:
what is it?

You:
can i be trusted? am i trustworthy?

Alya:
yes
why?

You:
why does adrien seem to not trust me?
and i know nothing about you guys haha

then when i ask questions, no one would pay attention haha

Alya:
are you talking about his crush?

You:
like
am i too outgoing?
they think im not serious enough

Alya:
y/n.

You:
to tell me secrets
like they're thinking
"dont tell that to y/n."
"yeah she's pretty noisy and annoying"
"maybe word will spread out"

Alya:
that's not it. maybe adrien was a bit
uncomfortable because he knew you had a crush on him

and girl, no one actually said that!!
who even told you that?!

You:
it's like, im that type of person no one could tell a secret to
because
im too talkative
i'm not good at serious talks

but adrien would say that i should not tell anyone a million times, even though i already reassured him again and again

it's still a reminder

so then i would doubt myself

Alya:
maybe adrien just has trust issues
there's no problem with you.

i know you. you are the most trustworthy person i have ever met.

You:
thanks...

but i wished he would've told me first, or sooner...
i mean
he sits right next to me
and i helped him with marinette.

Alya:
ugh i dont know
he's so confusing

You:
yeah ha
but it's ok
i didnt matter
just kidding hahahaha

Alya:
that's not your fault.
you matter

You:
thank you

After that, you turned off your phone and attempted to stare at the ceiling. It went for a few hours until you called it a day and decided to just sleep it all off.

end of chapter seven

KimmiePines

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