Again | g.d

Part Twenty

I watch Avery marvel at her reflection in the mirror from against the wall. All the other bridesmaids are gathered around her, squealing and freaking out about how gorgeous she looks in her wedding dress.

I've been standing here for ten minutes watching her, switching between feelings of jealousy, then guilt. Most of all I'm angry. I'm angry that Grayson chose Avery–who's more obsessed with the fact that she's getting married over the person she's actually marrying.

It's still hard for me to believe that the day is here. In a way, it doesn't even feel real. Lately, nothing I thought I knew has been.

I thought Grayson's feelings for me were real. I thought our future together was real. And now look where we are. I'm about to watch him start his future with another girl–a girl who doesn't know what she really wants or a single thing about him. And I don't know if I can take it.

I feel someone presence from behind me and turn just in time to see Avery's mom frantically rush into the room.

"Okay, girls, the ceremony is starting!" She says hurriedly, rushing over to everyone at the mirror. "Line up, just like we practiced."

I roll my eyes in annoyance–because every thing about today and this wedding is annoying me. I have no right to be in such a bad mood, but I can't help it. Maybe that's why I haven't smiled once since I woke up this morning, or haven't told Avery congrats today.

I sigh, pushing off of the wall to stand up straight. I flatten out the bottom of my dress, and run my hand over my curled hair as I turn to face the doorway to lead the line.

When all of the bridesmaids have lined up behind me, and Mrs. Johnson walks into the hallway, I take a deep breath.

This is actually happening. The moment Ive been dreading for so long is finally about to come. Grayson's about to get married.

"Are you ready?" She asks me quietly, a soft smile on her face.

No. I'm far from it. The last thing I want to do is lead the bridesmaids into the chapel to start the wedding.

"More ready than I'll ever be," I beam at her, pulling the bouquet of flowers in my hands closer to my chest to hide how fast it's rising and falling.

She nods, taking a step back to give me space, then motions down the hallway. "See you in there, darling," She winks at me.

I wink back, before stiffening up and pulling my body out of the room and down the hallway. With each step I take I feel a frown form more and more on his face.

I can't believe this is happening. Grayson's about to marry Avery and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I already tried–and he chose her.

He really wants to marry her. He doesn't want to be with me, anymore.

I stop in front of the closed doors to the chapel, my heart pounding in my chest. I can hear the last few notes play from the piano, before I hear the rustling of clothes signaling that the crowd has stood up.

Just then, the groomsmen walk up from behind us, and in a moment, Ethan's arm is linked in mine. Having him near me already makes me feel a bit better.

I squeeze his arm in worry, staring straight ahead at the wood doors. "I hate this, E," I whisper to him.

"I know," he whispers back. "Me, too. And as soon as this is over with me and you are getting out of here."

"I never want to come back," I say quietly. "I just want to get as far away from all of this as I can possible."

That's when Ethan looks at me, a smile on his face. "Let's do it, then,"

"What?" I ask him, looking at him strangely.

Ethan opens his mouth to respond, but is cut off by the corny wedding music blasting from the other side of the door.

My stomach drops. "That's our cue," I say breathlessly.

I can feel Ethan pulling me forward a bit, but it's like my feet are stuck to the ground. For a split second, I'm completely frozen.

"It'll be over before you know it," he reassures me.

I know it's not true. Because I'll never be over Grayson. And the pain I feel because of it will stick with me for the rest of my life.

I have to get used to it. I already know I never will.

I take a deep breath, tighten my grip around Ethan's forearm, and finally take a step forward to push open the doors with him to lead everyone into the chapel.

Wedding music rings in my ears as I drag myself down the aisle.

Me and Ethan reach the alter, and the moment I have to let go of his arm to split and walk to my side, my knees nearly give out. I keep my head low, and drag my body up the few steps.

When I walk past Grayson, my entire body tenses up. I keep my eyes nailed onto the ground as I walk. I'm scared that if I even look in his direction I'll break down into tears right here and now.

I stop in my assigned spot–the one closest to where Grayson and Avery are placed–and immediately look at Ethan for some sort of reassurance.

For the next several minutes I watch Ethan mouth words to me, that I can't quite make out, to try and help calm me down.

Then the doors open, and Avery starts to walk down the aisle. Her wedding dress looks gorgeous on her. She's smiling so wide I can see her teeth from underneath her veil. The whole crowd is looking at her adoringly.

Avery grabs Grayson's hands and walks up the alter. The crowd is told to sit back down, and the priest announces that the wedding is starting.

•••

After the wedding started everything else became a blur. I haven't processed much, but all I know is that I've been staring at the floor for a while, now. Too broken to look up at see my nightmare unfold right in front of me.

I had a plan–look away until the whole thing is over. But, then, I hear words that shouldn't matter to me. Words that make me look up for the first time since I got here.

"If there are any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace."