What if we Drown (12)

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"I'll give you guys a minute together," Kass offered, her gaze jumping around the waiting room as she held the coffee and bagged panini out to Ashlyn

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"I'll give you guys a minute together," Kass offered, her gaze jumping around the waiting room as she held the coffee and bagged panini out to Ashlyn. Ashlyn tilted her head and smiled sympathetically. She knew hospitals made Kass feel uncomfortable and that she likely wanted a moment to compose herself before facing Abel. Ashlyn respected Kass' decision, and took both items from her, giving her a quick hug.

Walking down the corridor towards the CCU, Ashlyn found her pace increasing with each step that took her closer. Anticipation fuelled her. She was about to round the corner and enter Abel's room when she heard her name carry out the door. Stopping where she stood, Ashlyn moved closer to the wall and listened.

"...she's been through some difficult events in her life, and it's had a lasting impact on how she interacts with people." Abel coughed a wet, croaky sound. "She's always been kind and gentle, her father made sure of it. But when she lost her father, it was like a part of her spirit left with him. It broke her in so many ways, and she carries the fear of it happening again with her daily. It's why she pushes people away." Abel spoke with compassionate empathy.

A chair scraped along the linoleum. "She let you and Kass in," Derek retaliated, sounding almost defeated.

"And it took us years to get through to her, with a lot of persistence and tears." Abel chuckled as though recalling the memories. Ashlyn's shoulders shook in silent laughter at the memory of their efforts. If it weren't for their stubbornness and pride, she doubted they would have ever made her cave. She was indebted to them for their persistence.

"She wants to let you in, Derek. I can see it in the way she is around you. But she's scared." Somebody cleared their throat. "You need to show her that her fear is okay. But also, that you are here, and you're not going to leave her exposed." Ashlyn felt a knot form in her gut. She shouldn't be listening to this. It wasn't right.

"But how? How do I show her I care and that I'm not walking away from this?" Derek asked with desperation. "I can't let her go down the same path Liam did," his voice broke. Ashlyn froze. Who was Liam, and what was Derek afraid of? Try as she might, she couldn't stop herself from listening.

Ashlyn pressed her back against the wall and closed her eyes against the awakened ache in her chest. The desperation and concern that she felt in Derek's words hurt, a reminder of everything she'd sought to avoid. This was why she didn't let people in.

"She has you whether she realizes it or not, and I know that you will protect her." Derek, she assumed, sniffed. "Her mind and her heart are at war with one another when it comes to you, Derek. You challenge everything that she has stood by for the last twenty years. You make her vulnerable, and it terrifies her." Ashlyn rubbed her eyes on her shoulder. Abel was speaking things that even she didn't dare admit to herself. Was her confusion over Derek so apparent?

"Fragile things break easily. Especially human beings," Derek spoke after a moment of silence, his tone indicating concern. "I don't want to break her, sir. I just want her to start letting people in, even if it isn't me." His voice broke, and Ashlyn gulped, the discarded walls at her feet grinding down into a fine dust. She was losing control of her defenses. She was exposed to everything that sought to break her further than she already felt.

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