Freddie and I made our way to our bedroom and plopped ourselves on the bed. "It's been quite a 24 hours," I told Freddie as I cuddled into him. "I know. I just don't understand what happened at breakfast this morning. I mean I know she used to be scared to eat but I thought she had gotten past that," Freddie replied pulling me into his chest. "I know. I wish I knew what was bringing back all of these memories for her," I said. "Could have been the nightmare she had last night; she told me she dreamt about her birth father hitting her," Freddie replied. "My goodness it's a good thing you heard her last night," I told Freddie. "Well, actually I didn't. It's the most amazing thing, Juliet woke me up. She came in here meowing her furry little head off until I followed her to Hannah's room. That's when I found her curled up and crying," Freddie told me. "Who knew they would be such good friends," I said in amazement. "Yes, I love seeing how Juliet is protecting Hannah. But that reminds me when need to get a baby monitor so we can hear her if she wakes up in the night." "That's a good idea," I replied.
We laid there for a few more minutes until Freddie asked me, "darling what's going on in that head of yours?" "What do you mean?" I asked him. "I know that look, it means something's on you mind," Freddie insisted. "It's just that, Hannah's seemed to take a few steps back since being here. I don't understand why," I replied. "Well, it could be the transition. We have her appointment with her new therapist tomorrow maybe he could offer us some insight," Freddie reassured me. "How did I marry such a smart man like you?" I asked my husband before I planted a kiss on him. I climbed on top of him and kissed him more on his mouth and then down his body. "Darling, we can't, not now," Freddie said stopping me. "Come on, she's asleep," I countered. "But the doors are open, she could walk in here. You're also loud, what if she hears us?" Freddie stated. "You're right," I sighed, "it's just we haven't had sex in so long, since we basically were living at the hospital this past month." I said rolling off of him. "Don't worry, you'll get that soon enough," Freddie said with a smirk on his face.
We laid there for a few minutes until we heard a shriek come from Hannah's room. Freddie and I jumped up right away and rushed over to Hannah. She was curled on her side in a panic and hyperventilating, she was having a panic attack. Freddie and I both froze for a second as we've never seen Hannah in this state. Freddie and I then both sprang into action. Freddie knelt down to be eye level with Hannah, "Hannah look at me, look at Daddy," he said a bit firmly while putting his hands on the side of her face. I sat down behind her and started firmly rubbing her back to help ground her. Once Freddie got her to look at him he talked her through slowing down her breathing, "breath like daddy baby, in through your nose and out through your mouth, nice and slow," he said as he breathed with her. Hannah's breathing slowed down a bit and I helped calm her saying, "you're safe, you're right here with daddy and papa." Freddie picked up her hand and started stroking Juliet with it, "feel Juliet darling? She's right here," Freddie soothed. "Kitty," Hannah managed to mumble out. "Yes that's right, your kitty's right there," Freddie reassured. "Pa-pa.......D-daddy," Hannah breathed out. "We're right here love," I said as I kept rubbing her back. "Hannah love, you're safe. You're right here with Daddy and I. Juliet's right here." I calmed her. Hannah reached her arms out to Freddie and he wrapped her in his arms. "Shhh shhhh it's okay Hannah," he soothed as he rocked her. "Hannah love, can you tell us what made you so scared" I asked her as I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Dream," she replied with a shaky voice. "Bad daddy was doing.......bad things to me," she went on. "Bad things? Can you tell us what kind of things?" I asked her. She began shaking her head frantically. "Ok, that's okay. We don't have to talk about it now."
The rest of the day Hannah remained very clingy. She constantly wanted to be picked up. Freddie and I spent the day passing her back and forth between us. It had been a long day and it was time for bed but we wanted to give her a bath before putting her to bed. "How does a bath sound sweetness?" I asked her. She nodded her head in reply, I wished she would use her words more but she was tired so I didn't want to push her. Freddie drew a bath and even put in some bubbles for Hannah. I got Hannah undressed and I couldn't help but notice the shocked expression on Freddie's face. Then I realized, it was the first time he was seeing Hannah's scars. In the hospital the nurses helped her bathe, Freddie had never seen her back fully exposed before. I gave him a bit of a stern look and he snapped out of it. "Alright princess, in you go," Freddie said as he picked up Hannah and placed her into the bath. Hannah seemed to enjoy her bath and was intrigued by the bubbles. Freddie was making her laugh by decorating Hannah and himself with bubbles. Freddie even planned a sneak attack and got me with the bubbles; it was worth it after seeing Hannah laugh. After having our fun with the bubbles we washed Hannah's hair and body. Hannah seemed to like her hair being washed and it helped relax her a bit. Once she was all clean Freddie wrapped her up in a towel and got her dressed. Hannah was clearly tired as she was rubbing her eyes. Freddie carried her back to her room and was about to place her in her bed for the night when she panicked, "no Daddy," she said clinging to him. "What's wrong love?" I asked her. "No sleep," she replied. "Why not darling, we know you're tired," Freddie asked her. "No sleep, stay with Daddy and Papa," she whimpered. Freddie and I looked at each other both noticing that she was using more baby talk, something we haven't heard her do before. "Hannah why don't you want to sleep?" I asked. She just whimpered and clung tighter to Freddie. "Are you afraid you'll have a bad dream darling?" Freddie asked her stoking her hair. She nodded her head and continued to whimper, "Daddy, Papa, no go," she managed. "Okay love, how about you sleep with Daddy and Papa in our bed? Just for tonight?" I proposed. Hannah nodded her head eagerly. Freddie carried Hannah to our bed and we all got settled in for bed. Hannah snuggled into Freddie's chest and I snuggled in behind her. Juliet hopped up on the corner of the bed and settled in for the night too. I stroked Hannah's hair and she quickly fell asleep.