Hush, Hush \\ KELLIC BOYXBOY

5

"He doesn't want you, Kellin!" he screamed at me, "Not how I want you!"

Another kick to my stomach and I was finding it harder to breathe. I curled up on the bedroom floor, close to tears. I had taken his abuse without a single peep, but I was wearing thin.

"You're a piece of shit for going behind my back! You don't see how much it hurts me," he growled. Emotion was flowing through his voice. More than anger, he was hurt. I couldn't believe I was stupid enough to do this to him. I was an idiot, but why did it warrant this kind of abuse? The yelling I understood, but why did he have to kick me? He hadn't hurt me like this in a while. I was hurt and confused. I thought things were getting better between us when it came to physical abuse. Why did he have to hurt me?

"I was there for you when he wasn't! I'm better than him, don't you see that?" he shouted.

"At least he never hit me!" I screamed back.

It was an impulse reaction. I didn't think it through. I never thought anything through. I tried to sit up. I was panting heavily. My stomach and chest hurt. My ribs were aching. I thought I was going to pass out here and now. I spoke back to him and part of me didn't care. How much worse could it get? I looked up at him through teary eyes, wondering why he hadn't made a move. He was just looking down at me.

"I love you, Oliver. I love you so why do you do this to me?!" I screamed again. I gasped for air through my sobbing. I thought for sure that he would hit me again, but he didn't.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. The apologies always came eventually but they were rarely this quick. He dropped down to his knees and reached out to me but I moved away.

"Stay away from me!" I shouted. I wasn't thinking clearly again. Emotions were taking over.

"Kellin, stop it, come here," he said in a soft voice.

"No! I gave you every part of me and this is what you do! I should leave you!" My throat was sore from the crying and yelling but it didn't stop me from saying what was on my mind. I've had enough of this.

"Don't talk like that. I said I was sorry," he said desperately. He came towards me again and grabbed my arm. I struggled away from him, but he was stronger.

"Get away from me!" I screamed, "Don't touch me!"

"Kellin, stop!" he shouted and pulled me closer. He wrapped his arms around me, but I fought to get free.

"I don't want to do this anymore!" I yelled like I was a child throwing a tantrum.

"You're just upset. Calm down, Kellin," he hushed in my ear, "Calm down, please. I love you."

I cried harder and my struggling was proving to be futile. He wouldn't let go of me. Everything hurt. For a split second I wondered why I didn't leave him, and when I remembered, I stopped struggling and let him hold me. Oliver was all I had. He was everything to me and in all honesty he could do whatever he wants because I'd always stay with him. I didn't know whether I liked that thought or not. Either way, I gave up fighting.

"It's okay, Kellin. Just don't see Vic and this won't happen again. I promise," he said. I turned to look at him to see if he meant it. I couldn't tell.

"Do you mean that?" I choked out. He nodded.

"I mean it. No Vic, none of...this, okay?" he asked. I looked at him as tears continued to roll down my cheeks. Did he really mean it? It sounded like he did. I wanted to take the chance. I wanted things to be okay with us. I just have to not make the mistake again. I nodded slowly and threw my arms around him in a hug.