~Put Yourself First~

~ Emotion~

E, emotion
A natural instinct or state of mind
Deriving from one's circumstances, mood or relationship with others
A rollercoaster

Hello, my name is Chatea I am a 22 year old

~BOSS ASS LADY~

I have been in some of the worse and some of the best relationships since I was the age of 18. I have had so many emotional rollercoasters in just 5 years and before then. Let me start by sharing that I was raped at the age of 14 by a man I did not even know. Afraid to tell anyone because I thought I was a horrible individual but in reality he was an horrible human being that HE could not stand to be told "NO" After being scarred by my molester I was in a dark  place that no one could understand.

I still had to act like everything was okay. You are told as  a women and even a young women to stay strong even when times are hard. My mother is the main reason for me being so strong , she has been through a lot of bullshit and I have seen her take that shit and boss up off it which pushes me to go hard and stay strong by all means. My emotions have always been bottled up and when they are bottled up it kills you softly. So instead of keeping my emotions bottled up I write this shit out because you cant trust every soul out here, especially these bitches they'll run they mouth more than they change their draws.

Ladies!!! Emotions are real do NOT let your emotions lead you to the wrong things, when I say this I am saying do not let your emotions lead you to the wrong men or situations. Your emotions will get you kilt! Your emotions will get you used! Your emotions will get you walked over and played.  Yes we are told to listen to our hearts but in reality that shit is not where it is at! Men can easily read your emotions off the back even if you feel they can not, they know we wear our emotions on our sleeves and it is not on purpose it is naturally in us.

When you have emotions that you are uncertain about, do not go to your lady friends first. Go to the God because he knows all things. Talk to God and ask him to show you the path, show you the signs, and help you through the time you may be facing. I have found myself crying late nights asking God to show me if my emotions are valid or are they no where near where they should be.  Your emotions change daily in life, in relationships, and etc. Your emotions have to be trained properly, we use this thing called putting up a safe guard but why put up a safe guard if you nurture your emotions?

Okay!! Guys I was just rumbling..... That was just the opening before I share my experiences and story through the short story series of "Put Yourself First."