Saving my Own Soul

VIII

HAPPY JUNETEENTH!! Enjoy Lovelies xoxo

I didn't sleep much that night. I keep tossing and turning, occasionally waking up to cry in spurts. Deshawn held me all that night, something he hasn't done in months.

When I had finally got my body to settle and rest, it was morning and time for me to head to work again. But quite frankly, I would rather lay in this bed than drag myself to work and pretend to be in a good mood. I was bound to snap at someone, and I hated to go off when the person wasn't responsible for my hurt feelings.

I slowly struggled to open my eyes, as I reached my hand across to my nightstand, to get my glasses. In attempting to reach my nightstand, my hand missed the edge and slipped off. In an instant I felt someone grab my arm, lifting me back on the bed. My eyes were met with the alluring brown eyes of my husband.

In a hustle (rush) to gather myself, I felt like a high schooler again, becoming nervous and conscious of my appearance.

"G-Good morning..." My quiet voice trailed nervously, then immediately covered my mouth, hoping he didn't get a whiff of my morning breath.

It was almost as if he sat there and admired me for a second, before deciding to speak.

"Good morning Sayria. Breakfast is on the counter, in the kitchen."

" You cooked?! " I sat up looking shocked. This man never cooked. I must be dreaming now.

He laughed a bit. "Yes, I cooked. You must have forgotten that I can cook."

" I didn't, it's just been a while. " I whispered, saying it more to myself than to him.

"Well, it's downstairs if you want it. I'm going to hurry and take a quick shower, I have to head to work soon. I haven't stayed here this late in the morning, in a while." He said glancing down at his watch.

I sighed inwardly. I remember those moments we would just lie in bed, watching the sun come up and just talk. It was beautiful to just be in one's presence, but, that hasn't happened for the last few years. Even today, I didn't really get to fully enjoy being in his arms because I was in too much of a wreck, from last night.

While he was in the shower I grabbed my robe, along with my phone, and headed downstairs.
In the midst of me conjuring up a text message to send to Mica and Sumayyah explaining to them why I would be late in the office this morning, a text came through.

I didn't recognize the number, and I normally don't check messages from numbers I didn't know, but something told me to check this time.

Within seconds of clicking the message, I felt my heart shatter into pieces just by this one picture that kept my eyes glued to my phone.

This is fake, this is fake! I kept trying to repeat to myself over and over in my head to prevent myself from having an ultimate meltdown. I felt my heart quicken in a paste that was irregular, slowly feeling my chest cave in.

Though his face was a bit of a blur, I could still recognize his face underneath the same model I had seen with his post yesterday on his Instagram. Both unclothed, with a blanket covering them, as it appeared to be her riding him. All of a sudden social media messages began rolling in, the picture had been leaked and TMZ and the shade room were having an ultimate field day. I did not even want to keep looking at it, hoping that it would go away.

But let's be real, I knew it wouldn't, and for the next few weeks, I would be the number one hot topic. This will now lead me into a long and dreadful few weeks of dealing with the media, handling things with my publicist, his publicist, to clear things up with the public, that I wasn't even sure was true or not. I didn't want to do any of it, I just wanted to sit here to process this all before having to face anyone.